Recently, someone expressed absolute surprise when I told them I am the doting, devoted mother of three children. I find it rather amusing that people are frequently shocked to learn that this Trashy Old Trollop is a mommy. This stunned person then axed me what I believe to be the best advice I have ever given my children. My answer?
“My darling babies. As your loving mother, if I can offer you one piece of advice for which you will most assuredly thank me upon your passing from this world to the next, it is this:
And, of course, when I offer them this sage wisdom, I LITERALLY DO CALL THEM CUTE BABIES, “MUTHAFUCKAS.”