Muffy-The-Imperious-Asshole Edict #773: If you violate your teenager’s human rights by tracking them and/or their car with a GPS — thus denying them the privacy, freedom, and sense of self-determination you yourself enjoyed in your own youth — FUUUUUUUUCK YOU.

Now…mind your own gottdamned bidness, eat a chocolate-dipped frozen banana, and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

That is all.

Displaying chocolate_banana.jpg

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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1 Response to stfu

  1. Terrika says:

    ROFLMAO. My husband captioned the photo:
    “Damn I need that bitch numba son!”

    Great insight. And I dare someone to be all “I made these mistakes so you wouldn’t have to” since that is obvious- it makes it all the easier to comfort them.

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