This is my sister, Mo, age 5 — in a red shirt, red knee socks, white cotton chonies, and hand-me-down brown suede saddle shoes with replaced white laces — showing what a BIG GIRL she is by hanging from just one tiny arm and one tiny leg off this AWESOME, GROOVY, orange and lime-green 12 foot jungle-jim, play-structure tower in our backyard in Fresno, California in 1973. Such a gorgeous girl!

But, as adorable as Mo is…that is NOT the best part of this 41 year old family photograph, oh, no. Not by a LONG SHOT, baby. No, the BEST part of this small moment in my family’s visual history is just above Mo’s right shoulder.

You see those dimpled, ashy, Kewpie knees?

That, Mein Poppets, is my other sister, Jennifer.

Standing all by herself on a single, curved, lime-green, metal bar.

Standing all by herself on a single, curved, line-green, metal bar…that is 11 FEET IN THE AIR.

Standing all by herself on a single, curved, lime-green, metal bar that is 11 feet in the air…NAKED.

Standing all by herself on a single, curved, lime-green, metal bar that is 11 feet in the air…naked — and TWO MOTHERFUCKING YEARS OLD.

Standing all by herself on a single, curved, lime-green, metal bar that is 11 feet in the air…naked — and two motherfucking years old…HOLDING ON WITH JUST A SINGLE, CURVED, ORANGE METAL BAR IN ONE FAT ARMENIAN MEATHOOK.

Standing all by herself on a single, curved, lime-green, metal bar that is 11 feet in the air…naked — and two motherfucking years old…holding on with just a single, curved, orange metal bar in one fat Armenian meathook. And a FULL-ON, SLIPPERY, GREASY, HALF-EATEN, PILFERED STICK OF DANISH CREAMERY BUTTER IN THE OTHER.

A FULL-ON stick of Danish Creamery butter that she would lift from the fridge on a daily basis, peel down the wrapper, and EAT LIKE A GODDAMNED BANANA.

You wanna know where I come from, muthafuckas?

THIS IS WHERE I COME FROM.