To all those whom it may concern — I have contacted my attorney and added a new ironclad codicil to my last will and testament…with regards to My Framily. These are my wishes:
After Gregory and my three babies get their share of my adorable ashes, my remaining cremains are to be divided and dispersed among the six beloved members of My Framily, with the following specific and exacting instructions to be carried out by each of them:
Jackie is to put her share of me into a vintage Bauhaus tea infuser, steep me in an old, gold, porcelain dragon, Ching-Chongery tea cup full of hot Evian water, add a little stevia, put on her pajamas and, “Valley of The Dolls”, and with ALL three dogs snuggled on her lap…DRINK ME.
Mario is to use his precious gym membership card to lovingly chop down and lay out a huge rail of me on the rock hard ass of a beautiful young hustler boy named Hud…and SNORT ME.
Travis is to book a room at The Chelsea Hotel, cook me down in a vintage, sterling silver Tiffany spoon, draw me up into a junk rig once owned by William Burroughs…and SHOOT ME.
Selene is to roll me up in a big, fat, Bob Marley-lookin’ blunt as tall as she is…and SMOKE ME.
Adrian is to cook me up in a giant paella pan full of Cuban Arroz Con Pollo…and EAT ME.
And Nadya is to mix me up with a cup of vinegar, a cup of water, squat — EXACTLY like she is doing in this photo, belt out a chorus of, “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves” at the top of her lungs…and DOUCHE ME.
Take me, I’M YOURS.
Drink me, snort me, shoot me, eat me, douche me, lick me, smoke me, poke me, stroke me, toke me, coke me, joke me, choke me, and, for the love of Maude, don’t forget to fucking INVOKE ME…for this is my body.
So it is written…SO IT SHALL BE DONE, BITCHES.