it’s always darkest before the don


Inane Muff Fact #619: Though I am certain that Donald Trump is completely out of his motherfucking mind…I WILL say this: It IS exhilarating to hear a politician JUST FEARLESSLY SPEAK HIS TRUTH without GIVING A SINGLE FUCK what anyone else thinks…least of all the pasty, shithead, self-righteous numbskulls who run his party. Though claiming allegiance with The GOP, Trump was, in fact, advised/encouraged to run in the first place by none other than Bill Clinton, himself — who, along with Dick Cheney, is probably the most brilliant, influential political strategist of our time. Unsurprisingly, Trump is PWNING THE MEDIA, THE POLLS, and the FECKLESS ASSES OF HIS SCRAMBLING, TERRIFIED, REPUB OPPONENTS. I am telling you right now, if I were forced to make the call today, I would absolutely choose this loose-cannon, lunatic birdnest bastard over the ineffectual, dickless, bland, sepia-toned Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio in a fucking second. You think that Trump actually gives a shit if some broad in Decatur or Detroit seeks a safe and legal abortion for an unplanned pregnancy? NOT A CHANCE. Trust me, his class DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SUCH PETTY THINGS. At that strata of money and society, ABORTION IS A GODDAMNED SACRAMENT. Oh, and hey…not to mention the fact that if this guy gets the nomination and runs? 


PS) I do believe my clever, clever husband, Gregory, called this weeks ago when, after the Republican primary debates, he announced, “I think that Donald Trump may just be the GREATEST TROLL WHO EVER LIVED.”

From Rolling Stone:

“The thing is, when you actually think about it, it’s not funny. Given what’s at stake, it’s more like the opposite, like the first sign of the collapse of the United States as a global superpower. Twenty years from now, when we’re all living like prehistory hominids and hunting rats with sticks, we’ll probably look back at this moment as the beginning of the end.

In the meantime, though, the race for the Republican Party presidential nomination sure seems funny. The event known around the world as hashtagGOPClownCar is improbable, colossal, spectacular and shocking; epic, monumental, heinous and disgusting. It’s like watching 17 platypuses try to mount the queen of England. You can’t tear your eyes away from it.

It will go down someday as the greatest reality show ever conceived. The concept is ingenious. Take a combustible mix of the most depraved and filterless half-wits, scam artists and asylum Napoleons America has to offer, give them all piles of money and tell them to run for president. Add Donald Trump. And to give the whole thing a perverse gravitas, make the presidency really at stake.

It’s Western civilization’s very own car wreck. Even if you don’t want to watch it, you will. It’s that awesome of a spectacle.”

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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