Two of the greatest loves of my life:

Miss Pearl and Miss Vivian.

They are my Sun…they are my Moon. They are my delight…they are my joy. They are my endless entertainment. They are my CONSTANT FAMILIARS…the secret source of all the magic that I possess and use to move through this world every day.

When I was younger, I used to look at Women Of A Certain Age with their vast legions of little dogs yapping and dancing at their feet and just shake my head and BELLY LAUGH IN BEFUDDLEMENT.

But, now…I get it.

Oh, I GET IT.

My children are all grown-up and out in the world creating extraordinary lives for themselves…and yet I find myself NOWHERE NEAR DONE with lavishing OBSCENE amounts of affection on tiny, adorable creatures.

And, furthermore, I don’t give a FUCK what dogless people say — I have three human babies and two canine babies so I am FULLY an expert on the subject and what I proclaim is this:

It is the exact same thing.

Do you hear what I am saying?

IT IS THE EXACT SAME THING.

Babies are BABIES.

So, Happy National Dog Day to both of my adored poochies, all of my delightful furry nieces and nephews, and to ALL the BELOVED BABIES OF THE WORLD.

My life would NOT be the same without their presence in it — and when it is time for me to leave this world…it is my EXPRESS WISH that their ashes be shaken, not stirred, along with Gregory’s and my very own…and there we will DWELL TOGETHER FOREVER…SMELLING LIKE HEAVENLY FRITO PAWS UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

I love you, Pearlie and Vivvie!

MOTHER LIKTH TO KITH YOU ON THE LIPTH!

Dogs ARE GODS.

“We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.” — Maurice Maeterlinck