Two of the greatest loves of my life:

Miss Pearl and Miss Vivian.

They are my Sun…they are my Moon. They are my delight…they are my joy. They are my endless entertainment. They are my CONSTANT FAMILIARS…the secret source of all the magic that I possess and use to move through this world every day.

When I was younger, I used to look at Women Of A Certain Age with their vast legions of little dogs yapping and dancing at their feet and just shake my head and BELLY LAUGH IN BEFUDDLEMENT.

But, now…I get it.


My children are all grown-up and out in the world creating extraordinary lives for themselves…and yet I find myself NOWHERE NEAR DONE with lavishing OBSCENE amounts of affection on tiny, adorable creatures.

And, furthermore, I don’t give a FUCK what dogless people say — I have three human babies and two canine babies so I am FULLY an expert on the subject and what I proclaim is this:

It is the exact same thing.

Do you hear what I am saying?


Babies are BABIES.

So, Happy National Dog Day to both of my adored poochies, all of my delightful furry nieces and nephews, and to ALL the BELOVED BABIES OF THE WORLD.

My life would NOT be the same without their presence in it — and when it is time for me to leave this world…it is my EXPRESS WISH that their ashes be shaken, not stirred, along with Gregory’s and my very own…and there we will DWELL TOGETHER FOREVER…SMELLING LIKE HEAVENLY FRITO PAWS UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

I love you, Pearlie and Vivvie!



“We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.” — Maurice Maeterlinck



About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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