the enforcer

Knitter PLEASE.

ALL Y’ALL whiners need to SHUT THE FUCK UP with your slippers, flyswatters, spatulas, and spoons.

You see, the humble wooden spoon was what I used to get from my MOTHER.

Conversely, this groovy, vintage, 1960s leather number, Mein Poppets…was what I used to get from my Step-Father.



PS) My harrowing childhood made me who and what I am…and though everyone has their own particular way to handle their own challenges from the past, I have found in my life that the only way to survive, vanquish, conquer, own, and endure…is to FUCKING THROW BACK MY GODDAMNED FLORIDA EVANS NECK and BELLY LAUGH AT MY SHIT. ALL OF IT.

And, so I do.


About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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