betty sue

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From April 7th:

I would like to wish the HAPPIEST, Most JOYOUS, Most MAGNIFICENT 29th Birthday to my FIERCE, FABULOUS, MAGICAL, BELOVED Baby Unicorn, Betsy — an event which, in fact, VAPORIZES the Space-Time Continuum, seeing that I am only 27, myself.

When you came strutting and sashaying into my world almost three decades ago — already all GORGEOUS, GLAMOROUS, and GLITZY — you changed both me and my life FOREVER. It was through YOU that my still-baby self began the most marvelous journey that any woman can take…that of MAMA. And, so…we grew up together.

And, as I have always known since the very first time I laid eyes on your beautiful little face, that no matter what things I may succeed at in my life, if I fail as a mother, then NONE OF IT MATTERS. And, with that knowledge, every day for the past 29 years, I have kept my promise and gotten my fatass up every single day and given it my VERY BEST effort with all three of you. Even though sometimes I was far from perfect, I never failed to TRY MY VERY HARDEST.

And, as I gaze at you and your brother and sister today, at the KIND, LOVING, BRILLIANT, EXTRAORDINARY people you have become, I know in my Mama heart that Gregory and I and your Daddy and Bonus-Mama did good. We cannot wait to see what amazing things you will all do with your lives. I brought you here all those years ago, and we will be here for all of you FOREVER.

Happy Birthday, our BEAUTIFUL UNICORN, our SWEET Betty Sue. Any magic that I may posses, I most certainly passed onto all three of you — with supreme joy and adoration. Your Mousie Lou and your Piglet are SO PROUD of you we could JUST BURST and we will love you ALWAYS.

Now…GO GET ‘EM, Baby Girl.

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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