I am just sitting here thinking about the time Gregory and I went to a parents night thingie at our daughter, Anne’s, Student Youth and Government leadership organization that is sponsored through The Y…where the evening’s rules were that we had to break down into several groups and each group had to choose one parent to go up and spontaneously perform a song in front of the entire assemblage. Guess who got chosen and guess whose fatass shamelessly strutted up in front of several hundred people, threw her hands in the air, tossed a well-placed peace sign, and shouted, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen — MY NAME IS SAGGY SPICE! GIRL POWER!”…and then proceeded to belt “Wannabe” a capella, a performance for which I was fortunate enough to receive not only a standing ovation, but first place for the evening’s festivities.
That was several years ago, and to this day, I still have people breathlessly rush up to me in line at Trader Joe’s to say, “SAGGY SPICE! WE LOVE YOU!”
My life is OFF THE GODDAMNED HOOK.