Those who read me around here and are at least quasi-familiar with my usual garbled warblings have most likely heard me make mention of something I refer to as “Framily.”

FRAMILY is a concept, a construct, a core group of people with whom you don’t necessarily share DNA (well, “share DNA” in the relatively relative sense — but with whom you may have, in a drunken rampage, certainly swapped spit or other bodily fluids…but of this, I shall SPEAK NO MORE), but to whom you may as well be biologically related. 

Friends, hand picked, whittled down to a tight loyal unit, us against the world, friends that you trust with your life, your children, your dogs, your house, your clothing, your money, your humor, your loyalty, your writing, your secrets, your devotion, your heart. When you need to belly laugh, when you need to belly cry, when you need a thrift shop wing man, a good fight, a new vintage brooch, an ending for your essay, a ride home, rent money, yummy lunch, yummy love, an opinion, the truth, a lie, a reminder of why you do what you do and love who you love, someone to help you dispose of the body, you call upon one of these motherfuckers and IT IS DONE. When this improbable cabal of writers, performers, actors, and activists convene over delicious food and even more delicious conversation, it’s like a goddamned event, it is. It’s rather like being part of a single organism — a bitchy, hilarious, groovy, glittery, brilliant organism that constantly shimmers and shifts and shit-talks. Friends who are Family.


These are the people who carry my secrets, who carry my truths, who carry ME — and believe me, don’t think I don’t know that my trashy Fresno self is the luckiest girl in the world to be accepted by them, embraced by them, celebrated by them, and loved by them.

There are MANY Framilies in the world — including, no doubt, your very own — but THIS ONE IS MINE.


About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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