Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

cartman gets an anal probe

Posted on May 11, 2010 by muffybolding

Oh, and just a quick note to all those parents out there who refuse to let their kids play video games or watch mainstream tv or eat anything other than jicama on a stick. I got a little secret for … Continue reading →

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petulant

Posted on May 11, 2010 by muffybolding

My last word on Courtney Love: I guess I am just done with the sad, pathetic trainwreck and am being selfish and petulant because I want the old Courtney back, goddamnit — the one who wrote FIERCE, BRILLIANT, INTELLIGENT music … Continue reading →

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cuppa

Posted on May 11, 2010 by muffybolding

I’m getting TONS of work done on a screenplay I’m writing, but I’m also feeling sort of baggied-out and sketchy. I’m going to pour myself one more, but trust me…I need another cup of coffee like Kate Gosselin needs her … Continue reading →

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jmv

Posted on May 11, 2010 by muffybolding

Lord, this guy was a TOP-SHELF PIECE OF ASS IN HIS DAY. Too bad he’s now COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS GODDAMNED MIND — as well as looking like he got eaten by a wolf and shit directly off a cliff. … Continue reading →

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bitch

Posted on May 11, 2010 by muffybolding

“I’m the last bitch standing.” — Courtney Love

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oh, sherry!

Posted on May 11, 2010 by muffybolding

Vacuous Muff Fact #964: If you were to stop me on the street and ask me to open my bag, inside you would find a copy of my favorite play of all time, “The Man Who Came To Dinner” by … Continue reading →

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nonviolence

Posted on May 10, 2010 by muffybolding

“Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

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broads

Posted on May 10, 2010 by muffybolding

We did it with Miss Betty White…and now we need to do it with a woman who is one of the greatest comedic inspirations of my life — Miss Carol Burnett! As an oddball kid growing up in Fresno, California, … Continue reading →

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the bags

Posted on May 10, 2010 by muffybolding

As many times as I’ve seen it — surely somewhere in the hundreds — I never, ever tire of watching this movie. In fact, it is in my top five favorite movies of all time. This is the VERY ESSENCE … Continue reading →

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old friends

Posted on May 9, 2010 by muffybolding

Can I tell you just how fucking surreal it was to be thumbing through various youtube music videos…and to suddenly and out of nowhere see my husband, Gregory, as a very young and cute college student, leaning over a studio … Continue reading →

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