Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

jumbo’s

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

I am FAR less offended by Tiger Woods’ OUTRAGEOUS pussyhound behavior than I am by his BELLY LAUGHABLE TASTE IN VAGINE. You’d think with all his simolians that he’d only go in for TOP SHELF COOTER. Those broads he’s bangin’ … Continue reading →

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a prince

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Although it’s not something I am necessarily proud of, for the most part I — along with the entire pack of treacherous, delightful Jackals of which I am a proud founding member — am completely hideous and jaded when it … Continue reading →

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the ring

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

At his high school graduation party, singer John Mellencamp broke up with his girlfriend so he could fuck college broads. When he asked for his class ring back, the girl was so furious that — in front of a 100 … Continue reading →

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paradise loft

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

When I first met my husband, he was living with his brilliant and gorgeous girlfriend, Marla, in a loft in an old converted brewery in downtown Los Angeles. This place was not chic, not chi-chi, not finished, not trendy; it … Continue reading →

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adorable scalliwags

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

How much do I love that I have three babies who, when in Disneyland, NEVER EVER fail to call me when they are about to step onto The Pirates of the Caribbean ride because it is collectively our favorite place … Continue reading →

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just for shits and giggles

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

From Madhouse: Me and Jordy Ladd just fucking hangin’ around and chillin’.

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the drag queen and miss emmy

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

From the Archives — 22nd April, 2006: This evening, one of my oldest and dearest friends, Peter Garcia, won an Emmy Award for his writing on the PBS-Kids series, Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks. Peter and I, along with … Continue reading →

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truth

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

“When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important: a stodgy parent is no fun at all. What a child wants and deserves is a parent who is SPARKY.” — Roald Dahl, “Danny The … Continue reading →

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sshhh!

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

According to all the excited, breathless calls and texts we’ve received over the course of the day, apparently my fatass is all over the gottdamned Disney Channel as “The Sassy Librarian” on a Zeke and Luther promo. Though I myself … Continue reading →

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mmmm…meme

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Use the first letter of your first name and make a list of ten things that start with that letter — all to do with YOU (I did 12 because I’m a REBEL BITCH): This entry brought to you by…the … Continue reading →

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