Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

it’s clobberin’ time!

Posted on July 9, 2008 by muffybolding

You are in a mall when zombies attack. You have: 1. One weapon. 2. One song blasting on the speakers. 3. One famous person to fight beside you. Weapon may be real or fictional; you may assume endless ammo is … Continue reading →

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here in the dark, i am reminded of the eternal beauty of man

Posted on July 9, 2008 by muffybolding

Goddamnit, but I love the medium of film. For all of my life, no matter what hardships, trauma, or turmoil I may have faced, movies have always sheltered me and carried me through. While my delightful siblings were slammin’ dope, … Continue reading →

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“you are special” memenhausen

Posted on July 2, 2008 by muffybolding

You Are Special You are my friend You are special You are my friend You’re special to me. You are the only one like you. Like you, my friend, I like you. In the daytime In the nighttime Any time … Continue reading →

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“cel-e-brate goat times, c’mon!”

Posted on June 26, 2008 by muffybolding

Happy 17th Birthday to the most hilarious, most amazing, most beautiful Baby Goat in the world. The joy and laughter you bring me each and every day is immeasurable. Thank you for always indulging me and allowing me to sniff … Continue reading →

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short and sweet and ganked from the indomitable miss alex wrekk

Posted on June 19, 2008 by muffybolding

The Who/What Created Me Meme For each of the following categories… write in which one thing had the biggest influence in making you who you are today: Book: The Journals of Sylvia Plath and Europe by Norman Davies Movie: What’s … Continue reading →

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exaltation

Posted on June 4, 2008 by muffybolding

How do I feel today? Filled to the brim and overflowing…with The Audacity of Hope. Finally. America, this is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page on the policies of the past. Our time to … Continue reading →

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what say you, oh, chi-chi queens?

Posted on May 22, 2008 by muffybolding

Well, well, well…apparently breastfeeding seems to be the hot topic around here at the ol’ hooker clubhouse as of late. Yes, I’ve another one for you — only this time, I am not going to marvel, wax poetic, or even … Continue reading →

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“dreadful disaster, great motherhood!”

Posted on May 21, 2008 by muffybolding

Once again, I stand in awe of my gender. Women are amazing creatures. (Jiang Xiaojuan, a policewoman from Jiangyou county, breastfeeds an orphan in the earthquake area.) BEIJING, (Xinhuanet) — The Sichuan earthquake of 8.0 magnitude has killed more than … Continue reading →

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in vino veritas

Posted on May 17, 2008 by muffybolding

Visionary California Winemaker Robert Mondavi died yesterday at his home in Yountville, California. He was 94. That’s a damned good run. Even though anybody who knows me knows that I fucking LOATHE wine (it gives me an immediate and pounding … Continue reading →

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“the gayest man in the world…”

Posted on May 16, 2008 by muffybolding

He has, more times than I can even count, made me belly laugh so long and so hard that I actually pissed my granny panties from beginning to end. He tends to have that affect on people — all 4′ … Continue reading →

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