Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

eye of the tiger

The quote I have printed up in a delightfully large font and scotch-taped to the front of our microwave for my children and all the world to see as they warm up their corndogs and Trader Joe’s frozen burritos — … Continue reading

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more inane memery

Yet another self-indulgent list of odd/interesting facts about myself while I fret and sweat with ruinous perfectionism regarding my this-close-to-being-finished book proposal: 1.) From a very early age, I have slept with books in my bed…literally stowed in my pillowcases, … Continue reading

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meme fuckery

a) List ten habits/quirks/facts about yourself b) Tag ten people to do the same c) Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag “whoever wants to do it” d) Fuck “C”; “C” is not the … Continue reading

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scott

“Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in … Continue reading

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big men in the boat

A few days ago, I happened upon a story about the Discovery Channel reality show Deadliest Catch, which just recently aired its 4th season series premiere. Gregory and the babies and I LIVE for dragging out some cozy blankets, poppin’ … Continue reading

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dreams

So, while Gregory and I were off gallivanting around Boston and sashaying up The Cape, I had sort of an amazing thing happen career-wise — and even though I was unable to take advantage of the opportunity this time, as … Continue reading

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“god only knows what i’d be without you…”

Aside from the simple matter of craving some serious adventure, one of the more practical reasons Gregory and I traveled to Boston recently was so that he could introduce me to some of his old high school friends and show … Continue reading

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charlie is a heartless bastard, dripping with schadenfreude and rage

Goddamnit, I love me some teenagers! The Baby Goat and her flock of adorable, pony-legged comrades are always turning me on to such hilarious, wondrous happenings as this video. The way they look at the world — through brand-new eyes, … Continue reading

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mark well and remember!

A MESSAGE to Children Who Have Read This Book When you grow up and have children of your own do please remember something important a stodgy parent is no fun at all What a child wants and deserves is a … Continue reading

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happy birthday, mr. rogers!

“Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” Days Honor Children’s Television Icon “(Pittsburgh) – In honor of what would have been Mister Rogers’ 80th birthday on March 20, Mr. McFeely — aka David Newell, the public relations director for Family Communications, Inc. … Continue reading

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