Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

ass in chair, hands on keys, shut the fuck up

And, just one more before my dinner break is over and my fatass has to take my own advice and get back to it, myself: TRUTH: To be a writer, first and foremost…one must WRITE — ass in chair, hands … Continue reading

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write on

Reading is Sexy. So is writing. Nah, not really.  I was just fuckin’ witchoo. But, Mama can’t do anything else. #jesusdontwantmeforasunbeam#oldbroadhotelroomselfie #sendcoffeeandcliveowen#nowiamnotjustfuckinwitchoo #fabuloustshirtbythefabuloussarahutter #andyessmartassbitchesitobviouslydidntcomeinblack #butoddlyenoughilikelookinglikeatubbybuttercup

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i <3 keef

THIS: “The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you’re not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. … Continue reading

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youth

“Now the war has come, bringing with it a new attitude. Youth has turned to gods we of an earlier day knew not, and it is possible to see already the direction in which those who come after us will … Continue reading

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maude bless saint joan

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werq!

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girls

You know, all horseshit aside…IT REALLY IS. ‪#‎whenshetalksiheartherevolution‬ ‪#‎allgirlstothefront‬

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simone

“I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, … Continue reading

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henrietta

Inane Muff Fact #8772: My husband, Gregory’s, Aunt Hazel was the voice of Henrietta Hippo on the marginally disturbing 70’s children’s show, New Zoo Revue. Do you have any idea how absolutely surreal it is to attend a family dinner … Continue reading

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the haze

Odd Muffaletta Fact #8772, Addendum: My husband Gregory’s Aunt Hazel also played Morticia’s cousin, Melancholia, on the AWESOME 60’s television series, The Addams Family. She was also the wife on the famous vintage Alka Seltzer commercial who, when her husband … Continue reading

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