Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

cheese ruffians

Posted on September 11, 2007 by muffybolding

Reason #727 that you can’t take boys grocery shopping together; they act like right hooligans when in the proximity of Camembert cheese:

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sliver

Posted on September 10, 2007 by muffybolding

Reason #12,461 that I madly adore my husband: He patiently and lovingly removes slivers from the feet of cute, sniveling little dudes so I don’t have to.

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I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

Posted on September 10, 2007 by muffybolding

Greetings from The Land of Excruciating Cooters! Well, not cooter exactly, but certainly close enough. I just really wanted to somehow work the word “cooter” into my opening salutation. So there you have it. First of all, many heartfelt thanks … Continue reading →

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Posted on September 5, 2007 by muffybolding

I was dragged kicking and screaming — and in unimaginable agony — to the emergency room on Sunday evening. I was officially admitted about midnight and am still here. I am posting this from my Blackberry so please excuse the … Continue reading →

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muffalina von schvontz sleeps with the fishes

Posted on September 2, 2007 by muffybolding

At the Long Beach Aquarium, 25 August, 2007

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call for submissions!

Posted on August 30, 2007 by muffybolding

Mamaphiles #3 – “Coming Home” (deadline 1 October 2007) Mamaphiles is seeking submissions for issue #3, with the theme of “Coming Home,” from mamas and papas who are currently producing their own zines. We are interested in essays, photos, cartoons, … Continue reading →

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from the london daily mail

Posted on August 30, 2007 by muffybolding

Women who cradle baby on their right arm ‘are more prone to depression’ By DAVID DERBYSHIRE 29th August 2007 Mothers who cradle a baby with their right arm are more likely to be suffering from stress than those who use … Continue reading →

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sorrow unimaginable

Posted on August 30, 2007 by muffybolding

“And a sword shall pierce her heart.” Executive Mansion, Washington, Nov. 21, 1864. Dear Madam, I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of … Continue reading →

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ALL

Posted on August 29, 2007 by muffybolding

Child with Toy Hand Grenade in Central Park, New York City (1962) by Diane Arbus

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one more, just because i can’t stand not to

Posted on August 17, 2007 by muffybolding

Eulogy To A Hell Of A Dame by Charles Bukowski some dogs who sleep at night must dream of bones and I remember your bones in flesh and best in that dark green dress and those high-heeled bright black shoes, … Continue reading →

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