Author Archives: muffybolding

Unknown's avatar

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS

Posted on July 3, 2007 by muffybolding

You know, I just have to say that I don’t really give a shit if it’s fake or real, or if it’s a UFO, a shrouded demon from Hell, or a trickster Mexican national in a top-secret military jetpack and … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 26 Comments

calling all gorgeous mobtown biotches!

Posted on June 22, 2007 by muffybolding

Guess which diminutive, degenerate Sicilian dame will be darkening your doorstep on the morrow? OH, YEAH. Gregory and I are taking the train in from DC sometime in the morning and will be toodling around your charming hamlet in search … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 12 Comments

glee

Posted on June 17, 2007 by muffybolding

I’m sorry to gloat here, but I just really feel the need to say the following: Just exactly how awesome is it that the sexiest bastard on the entire planet — Clive Owen — is married to a broad who … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 9 Comments

furn to the ASS

Posted on June 16, 2007 by muffybolding

I just found out today that, along with enjoying the considerable talents of Michael Pare, JaRule, and Tom “For The Love Of God, I Am Begging Someone To Just Put a Hollow Point Bullet In My Brain Already And End … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 14 Comments

mobtown hookers step up

Posted on June 14, 2007 by muffybolding

Hey, for those in the know…how far is Baltimore from DC travelwise, and how comprehensive is the public transport getting from one to the other? Thanks!

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 13 Comments

belly cryer

Posted on June 12, 2007 by muffybolding

Like I tell my babies, you don’t necessarily have to find god in some musty, fusty old church. But you definitely find god here; this is god:

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 27 Comments

the theatuh

Posted on June 11, 2007 by muffybolding

I must admit to having been pleasantly taken by surprise on last night’s Tony Awards at how ALL-TALENT the Broadway show Spring Awakening looks to be. As an old theatre whore who has performed in more than her fair share … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 6 Comments

doppleganger

Posted on June 8, 2007 by muffybolding

For some occasions, there simply are no words:

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 8 Comments

bob

Posted on June 8, 2007 by muffybolding
Posted in categories can suck my dick | 16 Comments

purse

Posted on June 8, 2007 by muffybolding

The only thing I love more than my purse…is the brilliant Jabberjaw picture of my sister, Jenny, that adorns it. Aside from Gregory and our babies, Jenny is my most favoritest person in the whole wide world. No one can … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 17 Comments