Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

suggestions from the cheap seats

Posted on October 13, 2006 by muffybolding

My quite bright 12-year old son has to find a novel to read for his English class — by tomorrow, of course. The bastard catch is that it must be realistic fiction, i.e., there can be no “wizards, dragons, magic, … Continue reading →

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paul and me both, i am sure

Posted on October 8, 2006 by muffybolding

All day today I had this nagging feeling of melancholy loss that I just couldn’t shake nor explain — and then, driving to the movie theatre with my husband and babies this afternoon, “Maybe I’m Amazed” came on the radio…and … Continue reading →

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exhilaration

Posted on October 8, 2006 by muffybolding

Goddamn, life is good. I feel like I am fucking seventeen again. Everything is possible.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 17 Comments

to one of the sweetest — and sweetest bpal smelling — girls i know

Posted on October 5, 2006 by muffybolding

Happy Birthday, Miss ! I loveth you lots.

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no words

Posted on October 1, 2006 by muffybolding

Prepare to BELLY LAUGH like you’ve never belly laughed before, my friends. I am literally pissing my granny panties:

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 6 Comments

just because i believe with all my heart that it’s true

Posted on September 25, 2006 by muffybolding

“I insist that a girl Stripped to the waist Is the first and last miracle, That the old janitor on his deathbed Who demands to see the breasts of his wife For the one last time Is the greatest poet … Continue reading →

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thanks for the memeries

Posted on September 24, 2006 by muffybolding

Nicked from the darling (with a few slight alterations): 1. Your Middle Name: 2. Age: 3. Single or Taken: 4. Favorite Movie: 5. Favorite Song: 6. Favorite Band/Artist: 7. Career: 8. Describe your first life altering decision: HERE COMES THE … Continue reading →

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a love song

Posted on September 22, 2006 by muffybolding

Because I am in love: Rollin’ down the Imperial Highway Big nasty redhead at my side Santa Ana wind blowin’ hot from the north And we was born to ride Roll down the window, put down the top Crank up … Continue reading →

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kiped from the lovely

Posted on September 18, 2006 by muffybolding

Prepare to lose your motherfucking mind.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 20 Comments

dames over the sea