Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

fuck me

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and … Continue reading

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armistice day, 2003

Though it is now officially known as Veteran’s Day, I prefer to call this day of remembrance by its original and much more poetic title: Armistice Day. This morning I woke, made some good, strong coffee and sat in front … Continue reading

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kabuki bob

Robert Zimmerman and I must be on the same wavelength today — this first day of November, 2003. I have been listening to Bob Dylan all afternoon…and marveling, all over again, at the sheer genius of the man — as … Continue reading

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cleaver clan for the new millennium

“I love cozying down on the couch and watching Jackass with you and Pig, Mommy. Jackass brings us closer together as a family.” — Most earnestly and sincerely uttered by my nine-year-old son, Hunter, last night as we were trick … Continue reading

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fantasia de occupado

Inspired by the darling who states: My fantasy job has always been to be the person sitting in a room somewhere making up all the names for lipsticks and eyeshadows and nail polish. I ask you…how brilliant and extraordinary is … Continue reading

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judge not, lest ye be judged…

I am helplessly, hopelessly in love…with Johnny Knoxville. There is just something about that Capuchin monkey body and that wicked, impish, boyish grin that melts my heart and makes me go moist in places better left unsaid. Hark! What is … Continue reading

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healthy colons, healthy community

Aside from workers and citizens publicly takin’ names and kickin’ ass on the bastard grocery moguls, I have noticed a few other benefits directly related to the grocery workers strike here in Southern California: 1) Unswerving social and political convictions … Continue reading

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the perfect song

About 7 or 8 years ago, I read a really fascinating article in Rolling Stone that polled something like 500 musicians from all walks of life — including the likes of Sting, Bono, Bruce Springsteen, David Bowie, Iggy Pop, Elvis … Continue reading

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first strike

As I am sure you are well aware, here in sunny Southern California there is a grocery workers strike underway, and I cannot tell you how proud I am of the way my fellow San Diegans are turning out — … Continue reading

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me, me, me, me, me…meme

Three things that scare me: 1: a june bug flying into my hair 2: harm coming to one of my little trio of darling larvae 3: the current and very real threat to women’s reproductive rights Three people who make … Continue reading

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