Author Archives: muffybolding

Inane Asshole Muff COMPLETELY True Fact #694: I actually had to clutch my pearls, close my eyes, take a deep breath, wipe my tears, light candles, and pray to St. Judy and St. Liza for strength and guidance — so that … Continue reading →

Inane Muff Fact #719: When I was little, I used to watch The Waltons every Thursday night without fail. I was OBSESSED. But, regardless of what dire, Depression-era tragedy happened to be unfolding on Walton’s Mountain on any given week, … Continue reading →

Inane HORRIFYING Muff Realization #272: On this day, October 20th, 2014…I am FUCKING OLDER than motherloving ALL-TALENT old lady Jean Stapleton was as Edith Bunker on, “All In The Family.” Holy shit. YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS.

See, here’s the deal. The harder this fucking society attempts to civilize and bowdlerize my fatass…the HARDER and FIERCER I will push back. Trust me, Mein Haters…there is SO MUCH MORE COMING. Count on it.

“Santa Ana winds blowin’ hot from the north…and we was born to ride.” Despite it being MOTHERLOVING NOVEMBER and just a few weeks away from THANKSGIVING — a time when it should be COLD, BLUSTERY, and LOVELY — due to … Continue reading →

Sitting here in the place of my birth, on the couch next to my brilliant, beautiful father, Tom — listening to him regale me with both sad and delightful memories of his life and his childhood while I take copious … Continue reading →

When she was five.

I just cracked open a delicious bottle of my new favorite beverage sensation and gave my 76 year old father his very first taste of Kombucha. His straight-faced, DEAD-serious response? “Kombucha tastes like OLD COOCHA.” ‪#‎SCREAMINGWITHBELLYLAUGHTER‬ ‪#‎myfatherrules‬

My beautiful, awesome Beatnik father in the late 1950s. God, I am SO in love with him. ‪#‎LITERALLYahipdaddio‬ ‪#‎tomisagod‬ ‪#‎snapdontclap‬ ‪#‎beretlust‬‪#‎chesterfieldlust‬ ‪#‎justcallmeelectra‬ ‪#‎luckiestslutever‬