Author Archives: muffybolding

Unknown's avatar

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

choking the pope

Posted on March 13, 2013 by muffybolding

So, the bell has been rung and word has gone out around the world that a new pope has been chosen — and with this action, with the rising of the ceremonial fuma blanca disappearing into thin air, so, too, … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 3 Comments

TRUTH

Posted on February 24, 2013 by muffybolding

‎”With careful grooming a woman can take ten years off her age…but you can’t fool a flight of stairs.” — Marlene Dietrich as told to Chrissie Hynde as told to Sandra Bernhard

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

“funny, you don’t LOOK flu-ish…”

Posted on February 22, 2013 by muffybolding

As I lie in bed for the seventh straight day — weak as a fat kitten, unable to do pretty much anything except drag myself to the bathroom to pee a couple of times a day — I suspect that … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 2 Comments

2013

Posted on January 1, 2013 by muffybolding

For My One True Love: Another year and there’s NO PLACE I would rather be than with you, Gregory Babior.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

the ‘no

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

Feeling a little wistful today…and missing the place that made me — for good AND for bad. She’s in my ears and in my eyes. Fresno.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

a clammy whammy is upon you

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

At a FABULOUS holiday party — squirtin’ the ol’ clam and waitin’ for Santa Claus! Merry Christmas, Motherfuckers!

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 2 Comments

well…HAS IT?

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding
Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

bond. TIMMEH BOND.

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

Muffy Moment of Pure Delight #882: Getting a text from out of the blue, opening it up, and finding an adorable photo of one of your 21 year old daughter’s best friends…in which he is dressed posh, posing like James … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

in case you were wondering…

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

Yes. I’ll say it: I LIKE NANCY BOYS.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

le pantheon

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies with two of my most favorite people who ever fucking lived: Miss Bea Arthur and Mel Brooks. These two are, in large part, why I do what I do … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment