Author Archives: muffybolding

Unknown's avatar

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

a hooker and the blustery day

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

With my favorite person (Gregory!) in my favorite weather (blustery!) at my favorite place (Disneyland!).

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

My One True Love

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding
Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

phoenix

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

Alright, listen up, motherfuckers. I CANNOT stop listening to this and dancin’ my fatass off. I am a GAY MAN…and THIS IS MY NEW JAM.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

boil

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

This dainty demon’s most favorite way to spend a gorgeous, cold, grey, rainy afternoon in The City of Angels. BOIL THAT DUSTSPECK.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

babies!

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding

Miss Betsy and Miss Frances: My beautiful baby with HER beautiful baby. Betty Sue and Frannie Doo — WE LOVE YOU!

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

GET USED TO IT

Posted on December 28, 2012 by muffybolding
Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

oh, deer

Posted on December 12, 2012 by muffybolding

Inane Muff Fact #1712: As I go through past essays — sorting and gathering and editing and pondering — I realize that most of the very best writing I’ve done in my life has been during periods of serious crazy…and … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 6 Comments

yenta come lately

Posted on December 12, 2012 by muffybolding

And speaking of Hanukkah and the holidays…even though I am blissfully married to the CUTEST LITTLE JEW BOY EVER, this will be the first year that I actually get to light the menorah and celebrate The Festival of Lights AS … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 2 Comments

the horror

Posted on December 12, 2012 by muffybolding

If any ONE SINGLE IMAGE ever captured the very special relationship between myself and my beloved gusband, Miss Jackie Beat, better than this one…I’ve never seen it. DEAD. FUCKING. ON.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

baby

Posted on December 12, 2012 by muffybolding

This tiny, delightful creature — who will be THREE on Saturday — is the love of my life. The fact that she gets swaddled in a soft, sweet-smelling receiving blanket and held and sniffed and kissed for several hours a … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment