Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

i <3 joe

Holy shit, this man is a MOTHERFUCKIN’ BOSS. I love you, Joe! CALL MY FATASS! “Look guys, no matter what a girl does, no matter how she’s dressed, no matter how much she’s had to drink, it’s never, never, never … Continue reading

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charlie

“There was a time in this great country of ours when bein’ crazy really MEANT somethin’…you know? But now it don’t mean NOTHIN’…’cause now EVERYBODY’S CRAZY.” — Charlie Manson

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THE CUP COMETH: the kings are KINGS

And speaking about, “I Love L.A.”, Randy Newman’s MARVELOUS love song to his place of birth…I wish you people could see my fatass when they play that video on the JumboTron at my beloved Dodgers games. Here’s your visual, Mein … Continue reading

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goat beach!

Gregory and I spent the long holiday weekend in a U-Haul, driving between Los Angeles and San Diego, moving The Baby Goat home for the summer, until she starts school at Cal State Long Beach in the fall. We spent … Continue reading

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tits and titters

Oh, my stars. Here is the latest Frontiers column from my Darling Gusband, Miss Jackie Beat — where she once again takes names, kicks ass, and, this time out, gives MAJOR LOVE to all the funny broads in her glittering … Continue reading

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I’M IN

“The worst thing that can happen for people who don’t want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.” — Sarah Silverman

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80s

My children are obsessed with the 80s. OBSESSED. Recently, one of my daughters came to me, lamenting the fact that she was born too late to have experienced the utter magnificence that was my lost and awesome youth. She asked … Continue reading

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truth

“Remember that you own what happened to you. If your childhood was less than ideal, you may have been raised thinking that if you told the truth about what really went on in your family, a long bony white finger … Continue reading

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baby betty

The best part about living in Los Angeles? The interesting, eclectic people and cultures in which you are constantly soaking. The perpetual, electric, neverending flow of creativity and collaboration. The awesome, bonding, “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER” attitude that pervades … Continue reading

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boy

I just this second hit “send” and placed the order for the high school graduation announcements of my last child. We will take him in tomorrow to be fitted for a classic black tux for his Senior Prom, to which … Continue reading

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