Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

dead

‪#‎ohhey‬ ‪#‎apparentlyimfuckingdead‬ ‪#‎5footone160andfilipino‬ ‪#‎whattheactualfuck‬

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fresno

Adorable Muff Fact #559: With my beloved kin of origin…when there is a serious family emergency and a push is made to mobilize help and support amongst the nearly dozen siblings…the first question is NOT is anybody in town or … Continue reading

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capone

Or, even more FOOLISH and FATAL…be UNKIND TO SOMEONE I LOVE. “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” … Continue reading

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he is risen

HE IS RISEN. ‪#‎hoblowjohnsnow‬

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white

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ‪#‎notsureifyourewhite‬ ‪#‎askyourself‬ ‪#‎doyouputbutteronwhiterice‬  ‪#‎ifso‬ ‪#‎yourefuckingwhite‬ ‪#‎teamsoysauce‬ ‪#‎allhailthepinoy‬

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bill

Ordered like a motherfucker. ‪#‎itwasoncebillandhill‬ ‪#‎butnowitshillandbill‬ ‪#‎fiercebroadstothefront‬ ‪#‎comeonmanshesfuckingdue‬  ‪#‎hrc2016‬

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faves

My beautiful husband, Gregory, and his beautiful old college friend (who is now MY beautiful friend, too!), the gorgeous, delightful, inspiring, and supremely talented children’s artist and author, Miss Aileen Leijten, recently enjoying a DELICIOUS late-night dinner in Chinatown in … Continue reading

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whut

‪#‎originalfarmersmarket‬ ‪#‎thegrove‬ ‪#‎losangeles‬ ‪#‎abraceofcandiedcherries‬ ‪#‎fatolddiabeticwhoresayswhut‬

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gorge

‪#‎farmersmarket‬ ‪#‎thegrove‬ ‪#‎losangeles‬ ‪#‎midcenturyheaven‬‪#‎wherehaveyougonemaryblairanationturnsitslonelyeyestoyou‬

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green

‪#‎originalfarmersmarket‬ ‪#‎originalgreenproducecarts‬ ‪#‎adorablepinkandwhitestripes‬ ‪#‎losangeles‬ ‪#‎idie‬ ‪#‎wheelmyfatassawaybecauseimdone‬

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