Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

more truth. mine.

Posted on December 3, 2010 by muffybolding

Riches. Power. Fame. Beauty. None of it matters in the least. In the end, time will devour us all.

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truth. mine.

Posted on December 3, 2010 by muffybolding

The single phrase that keeps repeating over and over again in my head as I shamelessly and exuberantly traverse, sashay, adventure, and insinuate myself in and throughout this most amazing place known as NYC: “Okay…NOW, THIS IS A FUCKING CITY.”

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RIP miss elaine kaufman

Posted on December 3, 2010 by muffybolding

Last year for Halloween, I donned one of my 400 black dresses, a pair of oversized black Swifty Lazar spectacles, and slapped a “Hello” nametag on the front of me that read: “HELLO. My name is Elaine Kaufman. Now GO … Continue reading →

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zuh feet of zuh angels

Posted on November 27, 2010 by muffybolding

Today…I took a scalding hot bath, finally got that Mexi-Melt, ruthlessly tore out a partially-knit scarf with which I was displeased, watched the natty Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes, writhed in pain for five hours, begged off a trip to … Continue reading →

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she called me a “steamy venus of willendorf”

Posted on November 27, 2010 by muffybolding

A very proud and public response to my great friend — the delightful writer, rambler, and raconteur, Miss Ayun Halliday — who has asked if I will accompany her to The Russian Turkish Baths in the East Village next week: … Continue reading →

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stay gold, bitches

Posted on November 27, 2010 by muffybolding

When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had just two things on my mind: Anne Sexton and Mexi-Melts.

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the day-after download

Posted on November 27, 2010 by muffybolding

You KNOW you’re fucking ancient when every single time you get together for an afternoon of writing, the first 15 minutes are spent enthusiastically discussing either thwarted, elusive bowel movements or gastrointestinal distress. Black Friday dumps are legendary — EVEN … Continue reading →

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thanksgiving, 2010

Posted on November 25, 2010 by muffybolding

I am eternally thankful for…my 3 delightful babies; my 1 extraordinary husband; my 2 precious chihuahuas; all of my unique, entertaining, priceless friends; my hilarious, felonious family; knitting; books; travel; movies; Antiques Roadshow; ebay; an iphone on which I can … Continue reading →

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we gather together, to ask a whore’s blessing…

Posted on November 25, 2010 by muffybolding

Endlessly thankful for all of my talented, titillating, treasured friends, whom I love with all my heart. For me, they are someone to dance with, belly laugh with, belly cry with, travel with, celebrate with, mourn with, eat with, knit … Continue reading →

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BRING IT

Posted on November 25, 2010 by muffybolding

On this day of great celebration, gratitude, and joy — when we all gather together ’round the table with our loved ones to give thanks for our many blessings in life — I would just like to say that I … Continue reading →

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