Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

frau harshman

This is me as Miss Ingrid Harshman in the upcoming Charles Band comedy/horror film, “Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver”: If Miss Anne Ramsey and Larry “Bud” Melman were to get married and have themselves a fat, sassy, bespectacled little … Continue reading

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l’chaim

Sometimes when I am watching a movie — I not only hear the dialogue as it being spoken…but I also see the dialogue as it is written on the page, complete with direction. Occupational hazard, I suppose — but trust … Continue reading

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truth. mine.

Muff Fact #72: I NEVER, EVER write better…than while I am knitting.

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15 in 15 (frogged from facebook)

The Rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors (poets included) who’ve influenced you and that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag at least … Continue reading

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viva chile!

Goddamn, I am saying fervent prayers of hope and gratitude for those 33 Chilean miners and their families — as well as thanks that it’s not ME down there as, a) I’m claustrophobic like a motherfucker, b) I would never … Continue reading

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…’cuz you’re playin’ with fire

I LOVE IT when skinny little cookie-cutter hipster kids sneer “Breeder” at me under their breath when they find themselves in line behind me and my perilously overflowing cart at Trader Joe’s…with their lone tub of tahini and bottle of … Continue reading

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say it ain’t so, mo

I feel like I’ve been eaten by a wolf and shit off a cliff. Where is your god now, Moses?

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the axe

I was recently asked, “What is the #1 reason you would defriend someone on Facebook?” My answer: Goddamnit, I verily LIVE to hear about all my friends’ latest interesting projects, shindigs, happenings, adventures, incarnations, love affairs, and skullduggery — it … Continue reading

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fever

This raging, relentless fever is making me feel wistful for places I’ve never been and people I’ve never met. Tell me true: Is this longing? Or regret?

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oh, dhani boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling…

After George Harrison’s death on 29 November 2001, his son, Dhani Harrison, in collaboration with Jeff Lynne, completed George’s final album, Brainwashed, which was released in 2002. He participated in the Concert for George on the first anniversary of his … Continue reading

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