Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

Even now, at age 27, it STILL shocks me that I am not married to Woody from The Bay City Rollers.

Nothing makes me happier than a chihuahua in a sling…hanging betwixt my BOSS HOOTERS. NOTHING.

It’s so odd. When you are auditioning actors in Los Angeles, you see lots and lots of really beautiful, talented people — they’re comin’ in the goddamned window, for chrissake. But I gotta tell you, it’s only every so often … Continue reading →

It’s so odd. When you are auditioning film actors in Los Angeles, you see lots and lots of really beautiful, talented people — they’re comin’ in the goddamned window, for chrissake. But I gotta tell you, it’s only every so … Continue reading →

My friend and colleague, the writer Maia Rossini, with whom I worked on the anthology, “Mamaphonic; Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts”, is one of those women you meet only every once in awhile who, so naturally and without any … Continue reading →

So, recently I showed up at Mather Zickel‘s 40th birthday party at the historic and infamous Sportsmen’s Lodge…wearing a black dress, black bob, black shoes, black sunglasses, and red lipstick — and, immediately upon my arrival, the birthday boy sauntered … Continue reading →

“[I am really good in bed] because I was never pretty. Pretty girls just lie there. Us girls who grew up a little more homely have to try a lot harder. That’s why pretty girls never threaten me — it’s … Continue reading →

Listen to what I am saying to you now. Put down the Xanax, the crucifix, the straight razor, the bullwhip, the Botox, the Don Julio, the Crisco, the tit-clamps, the Jumbo’s Clown Room frequent flyer card, and the latest issue … Continue reading →

Okay, and now that I have paid proper respect to the recent story of the tragic stabbing at the Target in West Hollywood…now it’s time for me to keep it real and admit my FIRST ACTUAL THOUGHT after I got … Continue reading →

Two days ago, a dangerously imbalanced woman lost her fucking mind and began stabbing people with a cheap kitchen knife at the West Hollywood Target store. She managed to slash a total of four random strangers before being subdued by … Continue reading →