Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

Here is my official Vulgarian edict for the day: If you regularly listen to John Mayer, Phil Collins, The Dave Matthews Band, Hootie and the Blowfish, Jack Johnson, or Jewel…you have NO SOUL and if you have no soul, YOU … Continue reading →

“Whilst on Savile Row, Alexander McQueen’s clients included Mikhail Gorbachev and Charles, Prince of Wales; McQueen recounted in an interview that he once wrote the words ‘I am a cunt’ in biro into the sleeve lining of a suit he … Continue reading →

You know you’re addicted to knitting…when you knit whilst taking a dump. That is all.

Whenever I hear one of those hideous power ballads from the 70’s or 80’s, IT MAKES ME WANNA KICK ASS. Home Tonight by Aerosmith, Faithfully by Journey, or Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue. Those horseshit songs were written by … Continue reading →

A Merry Birfday to Miss CJ Arabia…one of the most amazing, generous, loving, hilarious, talented, compassionate, fearless broads I have EVER known! Thank you for teaching me to knit, thank you for always encouraging me to forge ahead with my … Continue reading →

Now what are the goddamned chances that I would have the opportunity to play the word OPIATE in two separate games of Lexulous in one night? And this coming from a person who always has TONS of vicodin around (doctors … Continue reading →

Muffy Bucket List Item #2710: To give a handjob using the same hand on which is prominently displayed an official “My Heart Belongs to Jesus” Purity Ring — and to anonymously post pictures of said hand on hardcore porn forums … Continue reading →

Sometimes you just gotta delight in the little things — like the auspicious pattern in which your morning meds and vitamin supplements spill out into your meathook, willy-nilly…like an awesome gift from the gods.

I love it that the most sinister bastard of them all — that Opus Dei piece-of-shit Scalia — is making like a satanic priest in a Renaissance painting with the cryptic hand symbology…slyly alerting us to which realm he truly … Continue reading →

What a coincidence — the same five soulless, mindless, malfeasant shitheads who anointed George W. Bush as president thought this would be an awesome idea. Tell me, where is the conservative, batshit crazy Patriotic Tea Party outrage over this corporate … Continue reading →