Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

I am FAR less offended by Tiger Woods’ OUTRAGEOUS pussyhound behavior than I am by his BELLY LAUGHABLE TASTE IN VAGINE. You’d think with all his simolians that he’d only go in for TOP SHELF COOTER. Those broads he’s bangin’ … Continue reading →

Although it’s not something I am necessarily proud of, for the most part I — along with the entire pack of treacherous, delightful Jackals of which I am a proud founding member — am completely hideous and jaded when it … Continue reading →

At his high school graduation party, singer John Mellencamp broke up with his girlfriend so he could fuck college broads. When he asked for his class ring back, the girl was so furious that — in front of a 100 … Continue reading →

When I first met my husband, he was living with his brilliant and gorgeous girlfriend, Marla, in a loft in an old converted brewery in downtown Los Angeles. This place was not chic, not chi-chi, not finished, not trendy; it … Continue reading →

How much do I love that I have three babies who, when in Disneyland, NEVER EVER fail to call me when they are about to step onto The Pirates of the Caribbean ride because it is collectively our favorite place … Continue reading →

From Madhouse: Me and Jordy Ladd just fucking hangin’ around and chillin’.

“When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important: a stodgy parent is no fun at all. What a child wants and deserves is a parent who is SPARKY.” — Roald Dahl, “Danny The … Continue reading →

From the Archives — 22nd April, 2006: This evening, one of my oldest and dearest friends, Peter Garcia, won an Emmy Award for his writing on the PBS-Kids series, Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks. Peter and I, along with … Continue reading →

According to all the excited, breathless calls and texts we’ve received over the course of the day, apparently my fatass is all over the gottdamned Disney Channel as “The Sassy Librarian” on a Zeke and Luther promo. Though I myself … Continue reading →

Use the first letter of your first name and make a list of ten things that start with that letter — all to do with YOU (I did 12 because I’m a REBEL BITCH): This entry brought to you by…the … Continue reading →