Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

Right now in my life…I am ALL ABOUT THE FUCKING TRUTH — and this is just ONE of my truths. Despite using birth control, I became unexpectedly pregnant when I was 19. On the earliest date that the procedure could … Continue reading →

My GLORIOUS GUSBAND, Miss Jackie Beat, gives the BEST. FUCKING. PRESENTS. How about a chunky, vintage, Mid-Century, gold-tone, TO-DIE-FOR bracelet that he serendipitously found in an antique shop in Echo Park…that just so happened to have MY VERY OWN INITIALS … Continue reading →

A certain slant of light tilting in through an orange Dutch door…makes my heart SWELL WITH HAPPINESS. ‪#‎idontgiveashitthatitsamilliondegreesoutsideAUTUMNISCOMING‬ ‪#‎youcanscorchmycooterwiththisinfernalheatallyouwantsummerevenyoucantstopautumn‬ ‪#‎ifollowthegoldenlight‬

This is a statue of the BRILLIANT VISIONARY, Nikola Tesla, that stands in Silicon Valley. Beneath the statue is a time capsule that will be opened on January 7th, 2043 — the 100th anniversary of Tesla’s death — and the … Continue reading →

Because THIS is what you and Your One True Love get when your fatass orders a large soy latte and the adorable, young barista inevitably asks, “Would you like that hot or iced, Miss?” and you flash him a dazzling … Continue reading →

“LUMINOUS CHING-CHONGERY” is the name of my new Kabuki Uke Troupe and Punk Thug Jug Band. Goddamn, how I love the MIGHTY LA County Fair! Mustard-slathered corn dogs, delightfully okified crochet displays, all the carnie meth I can snort, and … Continue reading →

Zero makeup. Zero filter. Zero fear.  Zero shame. ZERO FUCKS GIVEN. #allthetimeisavenotsmudgingupmysulliedmugidevotetotherevolution

Fellow Treasured Earthling…you have a choice before you. You can stand out on the sidewalk holding your IGNORANT, CALLOUS, HATEFUL, RACIST SIGNS, hissing and chanting, “GO HOME! YOU ARE UNWELCOME! YOU DON’T BELONG HERE! WE HATE YOU!” OR… You can … Continue reading →

Knitter PLEASE. ALL Y’ALL whiners need to SHUT THE FUCK UP with your slippers, flyswatters, spatulas, and spoons. You see, the humble wooden spoon was what I used to get from my MOTHER. Conversely, this groovy, vintage, 1960s leather number, … Continue reading →

I cannot believe I get to spend my life with this adorable, adventurous, brilliant, kind, extraordinary boy. Talk about your DUMB LUCKY SLUT. Me and the Babies miss you, Sir! Hurry home to us! Be safe! We love you! ‪#‎cutepiglet‬  … Continue reading →