Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

I am always careful to wave back at little kids who wave at me from bridges, overpasses, trains, cars, monorails, ferris wheels, fair rides, Big Wheels, rickshaws, tugboats, and strollers. When you are small, having a grown-up return your wave … Continue reading →

“I don’t want to live in a world where Lindsay Lohan is in jail and BP executives aren’t.” — Andy Borowitz

“If you think I’m going to sit here and pass judgment on Miley [Cyrus], you’re wrong. I think she’s beautiful. I love her. She’s trying to grow up, you know. I remember when I was horny and young.” — The … Continue reading →

“Effeminate men intrigue me more than anything in the world. I see them as my alter egos. I feel very drawn to them. I think like a guy, but I’m feminine. So, I relate to feminine men.” — Madonna

“Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world.” — Frank Warren

Blimey! There is some SERIOUS ASS harvesting goin’ on all up in through this motherfucker lately. Tell me, has anyone else noticed an increase in THE FACEBOOK HARVEST around these parts? Well, no matter — in honor of such ruthless … Continue reading →

When I first heard Mia Farrow — who in recent years I’ve pretty much only thought of as the mousy, long-suffering actress who lost a daughter to the SHORT EYES of her then-boyfriend, Woody Allen — say this aloud on … Continue reading →

Rooney got SHORT EYES.

Even though they chose to exit-stage-left FAR TOO EARLY for my liking — and left me here all alone — for me, sometimes only my boyfriends, David Foster Wallace and Mark Linkous, will do. I wish I were having dinner … Continue reading →

“The assumption that I agreed by mere birth to your so called ‘social contract’ and to your entire body of ancient and useless laws designed primarily to deform my character and limit the possibilities inherent to my essential being is … Continue reading →