***IMPORTANT REQUEST***

First of all, my most fervent apologies to those whom I owe correspondence; I have been out of town on film-related work and have been busy and distracted as a motherfucker. So, if you have not heard from me recently, this is my mea culpa. I shall re-appear shortly.

On other fronts, yes, I DID see Fahrenheit — and yes, the top of my head is STILL detached from my body. My review will be posted later. However, I am quickly signing on to post a VERY important message to all my friends across the country who are planning to go see Mikie Moore’s Masterpiece of Truth.

After we bought our tickets and were being shuffled off into yet another line to be seated, I noticed a group of four teenage girls who were being turned away at the ticket window. It seems that since the right wing fascist cocksuckers got their way and won an R rating (which is absolutely presposterous and unwarranted, by the way), there is an entire segment of our population that is being denied entry to this film: YOUNG TEENS. These particular girls weren’t hipsters or punks or even necessarily sophisticated-looking in any way. But, by god, instead of loitering about Abercrombie and Fitch, they were at this cineplex in Los Angeles on a Friday afternoon to see this movie — and were unable to do so. It should be noted, by the way, that this is EXACTLY the group of Americans who need to see the revelations of this film THE VERY MOST. I was outraged that they were being turned away…but by the time I realized what was happening, I was being swept away by the line I was in and could do nothing.

So, I hurried in, found my seat, deposited my comrades, quickly asked said comrades to purchase me popcone and Diet Coke, and then scampered my fatass back out to the ticket line to introduce those four darling, curious, intellectually-hungry girls to their long lost “Auntie Muffy” — who would proudly stand by their side as they purchased their tickets and then had their minds blown wide open by what they were about to see.

But by the time I got back out front — they were gone. I was very nearly inconsolable.

So, I am asking all of you now that when you go to see this film — oh, and you WILL go to see this film, goddamnit — to please take the time to walk the length of the line beforehand and ask if there are any teenagers who, because of their age, need to be accompanied when purchasing their tickets. This is a MOST important task and is a very simple gesture that could make all the difference in the world towards engendering and encouraging the possible social and political awakening of another human being. We must NOT fail at aiding and abetting even one young person who wishes to see this movie. Trust me, after you experience it for yourself, you will understand what I am talking about. This film may very well change the course of American history.

I can dream, can’t I?

PS) Please pass along this suggestion to all those of good conscience, i.e., those enlightened beings who would like to see Dubya and his entire hissing, malevolent posse…rotting and stinking in the earth. Thank you.

That is all.

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my darling sire

Happy Father’s Day to the most extraordinary father a dame could ever have.

I love you, Daddy.


Tommy at 23


Tom at 63

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i cannot believe my fatass figured out how to do this

Who’s been commenting in your journal?

1 muffybolding 282 comments 22.87% of total
2 beelavender 86 comments 6.97% of total
3 sophistimicated 39 comments 3.16% of total
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These statistics were generated using the LJ Stats Web Interface by mpnolan. Original idea from scrapdog‘s LJ Comment Stats Wizard.

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this one’s for

….who makes me belly laugh out loud with her tales of substance ingestion and fine Southern mud.

TOYOTA REMOVES PEYOTE SCENES FROM WEB PROMOTION
White House Drug Office Calls Online Ad Work ‘Offensive’
June 14, 2004
By Jean Halliday

DETROIT (AdAge.com) — Toyota Motor Sales USA has edited a two-week-old online promotion to eliminate scenes that show a young man chewing peyote cactus and hallucinating while having an adventure in a Scion vehicle, the company said.

The original version of the Scion Webisode had a young man chewing peyote (second panel from top) and then exhibiting the red eyes, malapropisms and hallucinations of a mescaline user. The hallucinations were incorporated as major part of the rest of the story’s plot. Scion has now removed the peyote scene but the hallucinations remain.

The move comes after AdAge.com queried the automaker about the propriety of including images of mescaline use in advertisements aimed at the young demographic specifically targeted by Scion marketing campaigns.

DEA Schedule I drug

Mescaline — the psychotropic drug Peyote contains — is classified by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration as a Schedule I controlled substance, the same classification as heroin and LSD. It is routinely ingested by chewing raw or dried parts of the peyote cactus. A typical dose of peyote causes hallucinations that last about 12 hours, according to the DEA.

The cartoons, called “303 Caliber,” were launched two weeks ago on Scion’s Web site (www.wanttC.com) to promote the Scion tC model. Animated Webisodes feature four young characters on the road in a Scion tC. In the “Tina Returns” Webisode, the three male characters are walking along the side of a desert highway. One young man chews parts of a peyote cactus, and his face, mannerisms and voice change in a way that typically occurs after mescaline ingestion. After they get back in the Scion, the young man’s graphically vivid hallucinations and malapropisms become major elements in the continuing plot of the story.

Scion’s advertising agency, Attik of San Francisco, commissioned Australia’s Ambience Entertainment in Sydney to create the animated series about three multicultural young men and a young woman. The Web site launch was promoted to 1 million people via e-mail blasts and a half million 3-D lenticular postcards.

White House Drug Office

In Washington, after viewing the online Webisodes of “303 Caliber,” Tom Riley, a spokesman for the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, said it was “offensive” that Toyota would make a joke out of drug use in its car promotions. “Marketing the abuse of dangerous substances to young people isn’t funny,” he said.

When initially contacted by AdAge.com early last week, Scion’s marketing headquarters in Torrance, Calif., downplayed the role of the Webisode’s peyote-related sections. Dawn Ahmed, national ad manager, said the character’s hallucinations were “just from being out in the desert without food or water” and that the automaker wasn’t promoting illicit drug use.

By the end of the week, a Toyota spokesman told AdAge.com the cactus scene would be edited out. “This one sort of slipped through,” the spokesman said.

Internal review

The peyote Webisode was subject to a mandatory internal review and approval by both Toyota’s Diversity Group and legal staff, according to the spokesman. Toyota said it had not received any consumer complaints about the matter.

The spokesman said the “more senior people” at the marketer recognized the potential “misunderstanding” of the peyote scenes and had to explain it to the young associates there.

Adrian Si, interactive marketing manager at Scion, said it wasn’t the advertiser’s intent to tie the hallucinations with the peyote, admitting he understands the film could be interpreted that way.

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it must be all them homos what’s gettin’ hitched out there in frisco. yeah, that’s it.

The end of yet another sacred heterosexual union…due, almost certainly, to the matrimonial transgressions of those infernal faggots:

Rush Limbaugh Ending His Third Marriage

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh said on Friday that he and his third wife, Marta, had mutually decided to end their marriage of 10 years.
A statement issued through Los Angeles-based public relations firm Sitrick and Company said the Limbaughs “have separated pending an amicable resolution.” It was not clear whether either party had formally filed for divorce.

A spokesman at Sitrick declined to provide further details.

Limbaugh and his third wife, a former journalism student, were married in May 1994 at the home of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas in a ceremony officiated by Thomas himself.

His two previous marriages ended in divorce.

Word of Limbaugh’s latest marital difficulties come as the outspoken radio personality has come under investigation by prosecutors in Palm Beach County, Florida, where he lives, over allegations of illegal doctor-shopping for painkillers.

Limbaugh, 53, who has not been charged, admitted in October of last year to becoming addicted to prescription painkillers he took for back pain. He took a five-week break from his syndicated radio show to check into a drug rehabilitation center.

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excluding po bronson and bee lavender…

WORD.

“There is no denying the fact that writers should be read but not seen. Rarely are they a winsome sight.”
— Edna Ferber

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 4 Comments

beastie the riveter

So, now it seems that along with the recent talk of reinstituting the Draft, the Festering Forces of Evil are also considering drafting young American women into the military, as well.

Sure. No Problem.

I’ll tell you what, Herr Bush. My 17 year old daughter, Betsy, can be issued Draft Card #3…directly after you issue the following cards first:

#1: Jenna Bush
#2: Barbara Bush.

You see, you worthless piece of genetic garbage, unless you are willing to send the fruit of your own pathetic loins into danger first, you keep your goddamned meathooks off my babies.

Oh…and George?

GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Selective Service eyes women’s draft
The proposal would also require registration of critical skills

By ERIC ROSENBERG
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER WASHINGTON BUREAU

WASHINGTON — The chief of the Selective Service System has proposed registering women for the military draft and requiring that young Americans regularly inform the government about whether they have training in niche specialties needed in the armed services.

The proposal, which the agency’s acting Director Lewis Brodsky presented to senior Pentagon officials just before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, also seeks to extend the age of draft registration to 34 years old, up from 25.

The Selective Service System plan, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, highlights the extent to which agency officials have planned for an expanded military draft in case the administration and Congress would authorize one in the future.

“In line with today’s needs, the Selective Service System’s structure, programs and activities should be re-engineered toward maintaining a national inventory of American men and, for the first time, women, ages 18 through 34, with an added focus on identifying individuals with critical skills,” the agency said in a Feb. 11, 2003, proposal presented to senior Pentagon officials.

Brodsky and Richard Flahavan, the agency’s director of public and congressional affairs, reviewed the six-page proposal with Pentagon officials responsible for personnel issues. They included Charles Abell, principal deputy undersecretary for personnel and readiness, and William Carr, deputy undersecretary for military personnel policy.

The agency officials acknowledged that they would have “to market the concept” of a female draft to Congress, which ultimately would have to authorize such a step.

Dan Amon, a spokesman for the Selective Service System, based in Arlington, Va., said that the Pentagon has taken no action on the proposal to expand draft registration.

“These ideas were only being floated for Department of Defense consideration,” Amon said. He described the proposal as “food for thought” for contingency planning.

Navy Lt. Cmdr. Jane Campbell, a spokeswoman for the Defense Department, said the Pentagon “has not agreed to, nor even suggested, a change to Selective Service’s current missions.”

Nonetheless, Flahavan said the agency has begun designing procedures for a targeted registration and draft of people with computer and language skills, in case military officials and Congress authorize it.

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Air Force Gen. Richard Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, say they oppose a revival of the military draft, last used in 1973 as the American commitment in Vietnam waned, beginning the era of the all-volunteer force.

Mandatory registration for the draft was suspended in 1975 but was resumed in 1980 by President Carter after the Soviets invaded Afghanistan. About 13.5 million men, ages 18 to 25, currently are registered with the Selective Service.

“I don’t know anyone in the executive branch of the government who believes that it would be appropriate or necessary to reinstitute the draft,” Rumsfeld said last month.

At present, the Selective Service is authorized to register only young men and they are not required to inform the government about any professional skills. Separately, the agency has in place a special registration system to draft health care personnel in more than 60 specialties into the military if necessary in a crisis.

Some of the skill areas where the armed forces are facing “critical shortages” include linguists and computer specialists, the agency said. Americans would then be required to regularly update the agency on their skills until they reach age 35.

Individuals proficient in more than one critical skill would list the skill in which they have the greatest degree of competency.

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for some occasions — there simply are no words…

“Yeah, it’s real nice to see that the MD telethon has come so far in 50 years. Jerry’s still parading the little black kids out here to tap-dance for us…”
— Co-host Don Rickles (the motherfucking Viceroy of Irreverence), after a troupe of young African-American hip-hop dancers performed on the Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Labor Day Telethon, 2003

(Although I would like to add…that I just spit coffee all over my monitor, and that I’ll be stepping away from the computer for a bit in order to take my own life. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.)

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crafty academic bastard

Of the over-100 marvelous people on my lj friends list — this specific result was quite literally the most hilarious and absurd that could’ve come up.

And, it did.

I must say, I have not belly laughed this heartily in some time.

Consider my lips gratefully pressed against the ass of Fate for this one:

muffybolding’s LJ stalker is byroncook!
byroncook is stalking you because they think you are rich and they want your blingbling. They are also eating your food when you aren’t looking!
Posted in categories can suck my dick | 9 Comments

predicted it would become a meme — and he was right…

TV Guide recently put out a list of the top 25 cult shows EVER.

Boldface the shows that you like or have ever liked.

25.) Freaks and Geeks (never seen it…)
24.) Absolutely Fabulous (This show is what RULING THE SCHOOL is ALL ABOUT. Deliciously drunken sluts will forever have a place in my wicked, wicked heart.)
23.) Forever Knight (never seen it…)
22.) H.R. Puffnstuf (Late 60’s fucked-up, cheaply-produced kids show with obvious drug allusions — you just GOTTA love it.)
21.) Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman (SUCKED beyond ALL SUCKDOM. When you look up the word “sucks” in the dictionary — there is a picture of Mary Hartman’s hideous face.)
20.) Twin Peaks (never seen it…)
19.) Dark Shadows (I wanted to bang around with Barnabas Collins since the age of 3 — before I even knew what bangin’ around WAS. Yeah.)
18.) Doctor Who (never seen it…)
17.) The Avengers (BRILLIANT mod 60’s show. LOVED IT!)
16.) My So Called Life (never seen it…)
15.) Quantum Leap (never seen it…)
14.) Beauty And The Beast (never seen it…)
13.) Babylon 5 (never seen it…despite the fact that one of my best friends won SEVERAL Emmy’s for special effects make-up during his tenure there. Oops.)
12.) Family Guy (never seen it…)
11.) Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (Loved it! Hateful, contemptuous, smartasses always appeal to me.)
10.) Pee Wee’s Playhouse (One word: GOD. And made even better when I found out last year that my friend, Natasha, played Opal — the little girl who used to wander in and out of the playhouse every so often. Lucky bi-otch.)
9.) Xena, Warrior Princess (never seen it…)
8.) The Twilight Zone (The GREATEST TELEVISION SERIES OF ALL TIME; this show is actually one of the reasons I became a writer. Thank you for the sublime vocation, Lord Serling.)
7.) The Prisoner (never seen it…)
6.) The Simpsons (Despite being told what a fucking moronic assgoblin I am for not absolutely falling all over myself to watch this motherfucker, I do believe that I am the ONLY person on the planet who LOATHES this show. I think there is just something about the animation or the colors or something that repels me in a sensory sort of way; kind of like listening to country music. There is just something about it that does NOT work for me. My husband, by the way, LIVES FOR IT. Makes for rather “interesting” discussions at tv time.)
5.) Monty Python’s Flying Circus (SHEER UNADULTERATED GENIUS. I will watch Monty Python ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, NO MATTER WHAT. I will step over my own mother’s writhing, rattling, pleading carcass to sit my fatass down and watch it.)
4.) Farscape (never seen AND never heard of it…)
3.) Buffy The Vampire Slayer (HA! another shocker! never seen it…)
2.) The X-Files (never seen it…)
1.) Star Trek (ALL-TALENT. Love the schlock. Love Spock. Want to bang around with Chekov. End of story.)

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