“We all know that a fag is a homosexual gentleman who has just left the room.”
— Truman Capote
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capote is GOD
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go see…miss bee!
…the brilliant writer (as well as my fine Finnish compadre) will be out and about in the coming month, grandly sashaying through a town near you on tour with her latest tome, Mamaphonic — an anthology celebrating the sometimes joyous, sometimes hideous, ALWAYS extraordinary collision of two very powerful worlds: mothering and art.
So, for the love of god, turn off American Idol, ramp down your vibrator, harness those goat titties, get the kids some fatass Happy Meals and get thy pathetic, perpetually housebound self out to hear her read.
You shan’t be disappointed. I promise.
Hey, and after the reading, don’t forget to just march right up and give her a big fucking hug…and a nice, wet kiss right on her pinched crimson lips. Trust me, she loves nothing better than unwarranted affection and overly-familiar physical contact from perfect strangers.
Oh…and don’t forget to tell her that Muffy sent you.
*eyebat*
June 2
Madison WI
Corral Room (21+): featuring MaeRae, Bee Lavender, and Anne Elizabeth Moore.
June 4
Chicago IL
Quimby’s: featuring Bee Lavender, Joe Meno, Anne Elizabeth Moore, and others as part of a Punk Planet reading.
June 3-6
Chicago IL
Book Expo: signing promotional copies of Mamaphonic with Maia Rossini, Soft Skull Press booth, Sunday 11 AM
June 26
Newport OR
Writers on the Edge: Bee Lavender appearing with Marisa Anderson of The Dolly Ranchers.
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after seeing this…
how could you NOT vote for this handsome bastard?
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another shot o’ truth, please
“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”
— Mitch Ratliffe
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read it and weep, baby; and then VOTE WISELY
Here it is, kids…all spelled out for you in black and white — no horseshit whatsoever. The following essay clearly, succinctly, and brilliantly outlines the America in which you and your children will live if Bush is elected to a second term. Think Taliban…American style.
Be afraid — be VERY afraid.
And then, come November, vote this smirking cocksucker and his hissing, popping, stinking cronies out of office.
Thank you.
That is all.
xoxo
muff…
PS) Oh, and never forget:
“They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety…deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
— Benjamin Franklin
The Last Word
By Robert B. Reich
American Prospect
April 2004
W.’s Second Term: If you think the first is bad …
Musings about a second Bush term typically assume another four years of the same right-wing policies we’ve had to date. But it’d likely be far worse. So far, the Bush administration has had to govern with the expectation of facing American voters again in 2004. But suppose George W. Bush wins a second term. The constraint of a re-election contest will be gone. Knowing that voters can no longer turn them out, and that this will be their last shot at remaking America, the radical conservatives will be unleashed.
A friend who specializes in foreign policy and hobnobs with subcabinet officials in the Defense and State departments told me that the only thing that’s stopped the Bushies from storming into Iran and North Korea is the upcoming election. If Bush is re-elected, “[Dick] Cheney and [Donald] Rumsfeld are out of the box,” he said. “They’ll take Bush’s re-election as a mandate to wage the ‘war on terror’ everywhere and anywhere.”
The second term’s defense team will be even harder line than the current one. Colin Powell will go. Condoleezza Rice will take over at the State Department. Rumsfeld will consolidate power as the president’s national-security adviser. Paul Wolfowitz will run the Defense Department.
Domestic policy will swing further right. A re-election would strengthen the White House’s hand on issues that even many congressional Republicans have a hard time accepting, such as the assault on civil liberties. Bush will seek to push “Patriot II” through Congress, giving the Justice Department and the FBI powers to inspect mail, eavesdrop on phone conversations and e-mail, and examine personal medical records, insurance claims, and bank accounts.
Right-wing evangelicals will solidify their control over the departments of Justice, Education, and Health and Human Services – curtailing abortions, putting federal funds into the hands of private religious groups, pushing prayer in the public schools, and promoting creationism.
Economic policy, meanwhile, will be tilted even more brazenly toward the rich. Republican strategist Grover Norquist smugly predicts larger tax benefits for high earners in a second Bush administration. The goal will be to eliminate all taxes on capital gains, dividends, and other forms of unearned income and move toward a “flat tax.” The plan will be for deficits to continue to balloon until Wall Street demands large spending cuts as a condition for holding down long-term interest rates. Homeowners, facing potential losses on their major nest eggs as mortgage rates move upward, might be persuaded to join the chorus.
In consequence, Bush will slash all domestic spending outside of defense. He will also argue that Social Security cannot be maintained in its present form, and will push for legislation to transform it into private accounts. Meanwhile, the few shards of regulation still protecting the environment and the safety of American workers will be eliminated.
Justice Sandra Day O’Connor will surely step down from the Supreme Court, possibly joined by at least one other jurist, opening the way for the White House to nominate a series of right-wing justices, a list that could easily include Charles Pickering Sr. and William Pryor Jr. After Chief Justice William Rehnquist resigns, Bush may well nominate Antonin Scalia for the top slot – opening the way for Scalia and Clarence Thomas to dominate the Court. Such a court will curtail abortion rights, whittle down the Fourth and Fifth amendments, end all affirmative action, and eliminate much of what’s left of the barrier between church and state.
Karl Rove and Tom DeLay, meanwhile, will have four more years to fulfill their goal of transforming American democracy into a one-party state. Congressional redistricting across the nation will make Texas’ recent antics seem a model of democratic deliberation. Automated voting machines will be easily rigged, with no paper trails to document abuses. Changes in campaign-finance laws will permit larger “hard money” donations by corporate executives and federal contractors who have benefited by Republican policies.
Finally, the Federal Communications Commission will allow three or four giant media empires – all tightly connected to the Republican Party – to consolidate their ownership over all television and radio broadcasting.
Nothing is more dangerous to a republic than fanatics unconstrained by democratic politics. Yet in a second term of this administration, that’s exactly what we’ll have.
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okay, everybody…hold on tight — here we goooooo!
Two words:
ALL FUCKING TALENT
(Okay, that was three words. So, I’m excited, goddamnit. Kiss my ass.)
MICHAEL MOORE WINS TOP PRIZE AT CANNES FILM FESTIVAL
The Hollywood Reporter
U.S director Michael Moore’s critique of President Bush’s war on terror,
“Fahrenheit 9/11,” won the Palme d’Or best film award at Cannes Saturday,
capping a festival dominated by politics. Asian films swept three of the
top prizes, reflecting their strong presence in the competition. Maggie
Cheung won best actress for her work in “Clean,” and 14-year-old Yagura
Yuuyi won best actor for “Nobody Knows.”
The Hollywood Reporter Online: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com
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brilliance
How odd is it when you discover that someone you “know” — someone whom you have “known” for some time…is a fucking genius? And you had absolutely NO IDEA?
This just happened to me last week. I had heard about this particular person’s zine for forever — but had never read it. Well, I’m here to tell you — to testify, goddamnit — that I’ve read it now…and that my fatass is completely blown away.
The honesty. The artwork. The writing. The oftentimes painful truth. The generously handing you her very heart on a platter.
UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE.
So, after inhaling it all in one sitting, I had tasted blood — and went savagely scavenging for more: Ah! I remembered a zine compilation that came out last year that had some of her work published in it — I hurriedly dug it out of my bookcase and proceeded to pore through that. When I was done, I went back to the first, climbed into a scalding hot bathtub, and wound my way through it again — sublimely.
UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE.
So, have I yet whetted your appetite to read her extraordinary work for yourself? The interesting part is…there’s probably a very good chance she’s on your friends list, as well. Her name?
And her zine?
If you have not yet read it — do yourself a fat fucking favor and do so at your earliest possible convenience. I chuckled, and I wept, and I marveled at just how sweet the truth really tastes…when served up by a writer who seems to revel in its telling.
So, thanks, Rhonda — for the truth…about life and love and motherhood.
It’s about fucking time that someone told it again.
PS) In addition to my own copious fawnings over your darling offspring, both of my teenage daughters are now absolutely besotted with Zuzu, as well; they walk through the house proudly exhorting, “My don’t like it!”…right before they break into hysterical giggles. Yes, I’m afraid it’s the San Diego chapter of the official Zuzu Fan Club #1.
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ain’t it the truth, though
“Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty. Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass.”
— Charles Bukowski
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BELLY FUCKING LAUGH
This morning the alarm went off, and I gingerly ventured into the lair of The Teenage Girls — and of course, MTV was raging, as it always is in the morning when they are getting ready for school. As I was gently rolling the covers off the 13 year old and whispering in her ear, “Wake up, Baby Goat…the world awaits your beauty!”, I happened to notice a video out of the corner of my eye. I was informed by the 17 year old that it was some hip hop dude named Petey Pablo. As I gently rubbed the thonged butt of the Baby Goat in an attempt to bring her back to this particular realm of consciousness, I watched the video unfold. It appeared to be your typical, run-of-the-mill hip hop sort of video — dudes hangin’ in the ‘hood and so on and so forth.
And then…I saw it.
Rolling in from offscreen was yet another stereotypical hip hop guy…except this one was in a wheelchair. As I patted tiny goat bottom, I remember thinking, “Now, that is fucking COOL…to have a disabled guy in your hip hop video and to portray him as just one of the guys — with no differentiation at all. As it should be.”
And then my eyes slowly scanned down the screen…and it took a second to fully register what I was seeing: On the wheels of the wheelchair…WERE MOTHERFUCKING SPINNERS. You know, those spinning chrome discs that double as wheel rims on the bling mobiles; the ones that keep spinning, even when the vehicle has come to a complete stop?
I tell you, when I saw that, I very nearly fell onto the ground I was belly laughing so hard. The baby goat even popped her drowzy head up to see what in hell was going on with her hysterically cackling mother.
Spinners on a wheelchair. I ask you — how fucking GENIUS is that?
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friday confession; rock on!
Okay, fine. Since all you dames always shame me with your honesty, forthrightness and marvelously conspiratorial natures…I will, at long last, do a fucking Friday Confession of my own, goddamnit:
Until very recently, this guy was my brother-in-law.
Now piss off.
*eyebat*
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muffy bolding 