I am always careful to wave back at little kids who wave at me from bridges, overpasses, trains, cars, monorails, ferris wheels, fair rides, Big Wheels, rickshaws, tugboats, and strollers. When you are small, having a grown-up return your wave is such an amazing affirmation of your existence, influence, and power in the world. Never, ever forget that.
“I don’t want to live in a world where Lindsay Lohan is in jail and BP executives aren’t.” — Andy Borowitz
“If you think I’m going to sit here and pass judgment on Miley [Cyrus], you’re wrong. I think she’s beautiful. I love her. She’s trying to grow up, you know. I remember when I was horny and young.” — The INCOMPARABLE, IRREPLACEABLE Dolly Parton
“Effeminate men intrigue me more than anything in the world. I see them as my alter egos. I feel very drawn to them. I think like a guy, but I’m feminine. So, I relate to feminine men.” — Madonna
“Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world.” — Frank Warren
Blimey! There is some SERIOUS ASS harvesting goin’ on all up in through
this motherfucker lately. Tell me, has anyone else noticed an increase in THE FACEBOOK HARVEST around these parts?
Well, no matter — in honor of such ruthless gleaning, I would like to post a religious icon of The Patron Saint of The Facebook Harvest. Trust me, wherever there is shameless name gankin’ goin’ on…THIS RIGHTEOUS BITCH WITH THE “DELETE SYMBOL” GOUGED INTO HER FOREHEAD IS THERE:
(I LOVE YOU, JACKIE BEAT!)
When I first heard Mia Farrow — who in recent years I’ve pretty much only thought of as the mousy, long-suffering actress who lost a daughter to the SHORT EYES of her then-boyfriend, Woody Allen — say this aloud on some cheesy, late-night biography show called “Intimate Portrait” about five years ago, I immediately felt the earth shift on its axis and my life was forever changed. In the middle of the night, right there on the couch, wearing my favorite Target schmata, the now FAR from mousy mother of a dozen mostly disabled children and FIERCE political activist and champion for the people of Darfur passed along to me the lesson that it had taken her a goddamned lifetime to learn…and for me, it was The Answer to all things, a way to move through this world both FULLY ARMED and FULLY OPEN…and for that, Miss Farrow, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So, my own advice to you? Keep your own heart wide open at ALL times — wisdom and enlightenment often come from unlikely sources — even cheeseball shows on The Lifetime Channel at 3 o’clock in the morning on a Tuesday. You just never know when your own mantra will drift down as a gift from She Who Hears The Cries Of The World. It is, of course, deceptively simple — as are almost all of life’s most valuable lessons:
“I get it now; I didn’t get it then. That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible…and enjoying everything in between.” — Mia Farrow
Even though they chose to exit-stage-left FAR TOO EARLY for my liking — and left me here all alone — for me, sometimes only my boyfriends, David Foster Wallace and Mark Linkous, will do. I wish I were having dinner with both of them tonight. I am always in love with the heads of dead men.
“The assumption that I agreed by mere birth to your so called ‘social contract’ and to your entire body of ancient and useless laws designed primarily to deform my character and limit the possibilities inherent to my essential being is an obscenity and an absurdity, Sir!” — Marquis Donatien De Sade
muffy bolding 