her first fucking mistake

Ah, the folly of youth!

Pop princess Britney Spears is refusing to sign a pre-nuptial agreement before she weds fiance Kevin Federline, because she’s “marrying him for love and not money”. According to American website Pagesix.Com, the singer’s parents are begging her to agree to a pre-nup ahead of her planned November wedding to dancer Federline – who, under California law, stands to win half her fortune if they divorce. The website claims Spears, who is worth a reported $100 million, had to buy her own $400,000 engagement ring and has put penniless Federline – who she has dated for just three months – on her payroll. Spears’ mum Lynne is also reportedly upset with the singer, because she told her assistant about the engagement before her. According to PageSix, Spears yelled at her mother, “This is my life, let me live it.”

If they do indeed get married as scheduled, in about 2 years you shall find the newly-divorced Kevin Earl Federline jubilantly break-dancing the planet with copious coinage falling out his ass. Just think of all the Hooters hotwings, Hummer limos, Kid Rock CDs, designer wifebeaters, Von Dutch truckers caps, black laquer living room furniture, and Jaegermeister that $50 million could buy. It verily boggles the mind.

Wow. All that…and Britney’s top-shelf pussy served up on a silver platter with a wedge of lemon and a sprig of parsley.

Not bad for a white-trash boy from Fresno.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

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