I was just cleaning up and digging through some various writing files of mine and I stumbled upon that lj “Paranoid Meme” thing I did like two months ago. You know which one I am talking about — the one where you write a cluster of anonymous messages to people on your friends list, telling them the unvarnished truth about how you feel — both good and bad. The one that shocks and horrifies and makes you question your very sanity when you read a message that just might be directed at you. The same one that I read on someone else’s journal a few months ago that very nearly drove me into analysis because I was just sure it was aimed directly at my NO-talent meathook self. The one that I still hear echoing in my worst nightmares before it jars me from my peaceful slumber, sweating profusely and bleeding from the eyesockets. The one that leaves me reeling with the knowledge that an insult like that to someone like me is epic…EVEN IN HELL.


Anyway, I did it late one Saturday night when I was bored with the endless political drivel over at Kos’ clubhouse and knew that all the industry skullduggery at IMDB wouldn’t be updated until Monday morning. I had run out of self-entertainment options and I just HAD to do it, kids. I had no choice. And much to my surprise, I found that I rather enjoyed it. I smelled the cheap, roadhouse whiskey on its breath, and it pawed at my dirty pillas and I let it take me right then and there, and I liked it, goddamnit..I LIKED IT.

So, my query to you is this: yay or nay to posting it? My good friend, , has already publicly stated that I should be bold and just let the bastard rip (but then, she’s Traci Jean Burns, and she fucking RULES THE SCHOOL and knows no fear whatsoever beyond having her buggy ganked at the supermarket, but that’s a different story entirely.)

So, what’re your thoughts on the subject? Remember, it contains some really fun and loving stuff, as well as some intermittent moments of sheer harrowing terror. I would employ one of those polls I am always seeing you guys use, but I am completely oafish when it comes to such matters and have no idea how to go about doing it. I am but a poor and humble technological imbecile — pity me…and then tell me whether or not I should post this bastardo. Thank you.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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