welfare cheese and ferry fun!

Once tagged by this entry, the assignment is to write a blog entry of some kind with six random facts about yourself. Then, pick six of your friends and tag them; no tag backs. This explanation should be included.

Six Facts:

(I did ten. To hell with boring convention.)

1) I come from an East Coast family with a pronounced carnival and vaudevillian background; oh, and a strong East Coast “family” background — if you know what I’m saying, and I think maybe you do. Leave the icepick…take the cannoli.

2) And speaking of family…I am one of nine children. My parents could flat fuck, my friends.

3) After over four years of very odd but specific symptoms, I was just diagnosed this summer with a very rare, chronic, and incurable disease. Whatever. Bring it.

4) Every night, I sleep surrounded by a king’s ransom worth of fine pillows. In fact, my husband and all three of my children do, as well. I decided a long time ago — when I was poor, poor, poor as a churchmouse — that soft, luxurious, high-end bedding was a necessary splurge. Even in their cribs, my babies have slept on/been surrounded by down and feather pillows and irrationally high-thread-count sheets. What decadent pigs we be.

5) Even though I am so motherfucking busy right now with these current television writing and producing jobs, I am still digging out the precious time to work on my book of essays, Inside a Chinese Dragon. I am determined to finish it by my deadline, goddamnit. It’s odd to me how the more you have to do, the more you get done. Or, at least it works that way with me.

6) My favorite ethnic food is either Mediterranean or Vietnamese; I can never ever make up my mind. Oh, and Ethiopian. And Afghani. And corn dogs with lots of mustard.

7) I rarely stumble upon actors who really do it for me…so, it is with great surprise that I find myself currently obsessed with Clive Owen. I normally go for the academic, intellectual, nebbishy type — so the only thing I can figure is that the working class girl in me is drawn to the working class boy in him. It seems you can take the blue-collar girl out of Fresno, but you can’t take the welfare cheese out of the blue-collar girl…or some such ridiculous metaphorical drivel like that. I think I’d just like to nail him.

8) And speaking of obsession, I am working on the film treatment for a true story that is so fucking ALL-talent, that I even visit it in my dreams. I can’t get enough of it. It makes me breathless just to think about it — which is pretty much all the time. How lucky I am to have a job that I love.

9) A few years ago, I banged around with my husband in the downstairs bathroom of the Seattle-Bainbridge Island Ferry.

10) I own some 40 black t-shirts, as well as black dresses, jumpers, sweaters, skirts, and other assorted articles of clothing. If you peer into my closet, so much is it a vast sea of black…that an outside party actually commented that it looks like my husband is married to a nun — to which I just threw back my head and BELLY LAUGHED AT THE IRONY.

As for Le Tag — do it if you wish…and if not, fuck off, lady.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
This entry was posted in categories can suck my dick. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to welfare cheese and ferry fun!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s