hey, kids! LET’S PUT ON A SHOW!

I had the most amazing and hilarious dream last night — you know, the kind of wonderful dream that just seems to last forever and you hope will never end. The entire thing was about, “Hey, Kids! Let’s put on a campy, scandalous, ancient-teenagers version of ‘Grease’!” with Mario Diaz as Danny, Jonona Ivon Amor as Sandy, Me as Rizzo, Julien Nitzberg as Kenickie, Sam Pancake as Sonny, Senor Amor as Doody, Selene Luna as Frenchy, Calpernia Addams as Marty Maraschino, Nadya Ginsburg as ChaCha DiGregorio, Travis Walck as The Teen Angel, Drew Droege as Blanche (the Dody Goodman character — HA!), and our own illustrious drag mother, Miss Jackie Beat, as Principal McGee. Lemme tell you something…that brilliant bitch OUT-EVE-ARDENED even Eve Arden. SO GOOD.

And, yes, goddamnit, I am fully aware that my subconscious shrewdly and shamelessly cast myself as Betty Rizzo and the delightful Mr. Nitzberg as Kenickie BECAUSE HE IS MY SECRET CRUSH (so, for chrissake, DON’T TELL ANYONE.) Good lord, even in my sleep I’M A DIRTY WHORE.

Anyway, so very brill it was, that when I woke up this morning, my stomach muscles were actually THROBBING from all the DEAD-ASLEEP BELLY LAUGHING that I apparently did all night long.

We’ll always…be together.

We’ll always…be together.

We’ll always…be together.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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2 Responses to hey, kids! LET’S PUT ON A SHOW!

  1. Sandra Oles says:

    I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I LOVE YOU! You are hilarious, brave, open, direct, honest.. I wonder what sign you are! What are you?

  2. muffybolding says:

    gosh, THANK YOU, miss sandra! what a most lovely thing to say to a scandalous old hooker like myself. between you and this high-powered estrogen patch on my ass, i don’t know what’s making me giddier!


    all joking aside — THANK YOU. you just made my goddamned day, sugar.

    oh, and to answer your question — I am a Leo…with a Leo rising.


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