If my scandalous ass is ever lucky enough to pass through The Pearly Gates (which, believe you me, is highly unlikely), I will not be surprised at all to find that heaven smells exactly like a cup of coffee in France, a used-book store, my Grandma Mary’s handmade tortillas, the top of my son’s skull, my precious compost bin, my darling husband’s soy sauce hands, “Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific” shampoo in 1978, fresh cut cilantro, Gain fabric detergent, handmade incense from “The Brass Unicorn” in Fresno, my signature vanilla hand lotion, The Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, MAC lipstick, and the holy, holy toes of chihuahuas.
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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