“it doesn’t matter how she got there, marsha — what matters is THAT SHE’S ARRIVED!”

Aside from being blissfully MARRIED to my darling, sexy, brilliant husband, Gregory:

there are many extra, added benefits to being additionally MARY’D to a gay man, as well — especially one like my GUSBAND, Jackie Beat, a person who has made his name and his fortune performing all over the world IN FABULOUS DRAG. Not only will a gusband shop WITH you, they will shop FOR YOU.

A marvelous, vintage thrift store dress lovingly purchased for you by your thoughtful, wicked-stylish, drag queen gusband?

1 dollar.

That he will put it on, strut around, model it for you, and send pictures of it shot in a flouncy yellow and white bedroom that looks exactly like the one in which you were molested in 1972?


“It puts the lotion in the basket.”

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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