From my hilarious friend and colleague — writer/actor/mother, Miss Becky Thyre:
“We were listening to NPR in the car today and Meshell Norris said, “Will we ever know the name of the SEAL who shot Osama Bin Laden?” My 9-year-old yelled, “Wait, what? A seal shot Osama Bin Laden?”
HA! That reminds me of my own perpetually befuddled youth, where I was the kid who TRULY in her heart believed that Foster Farms was a HOME FOR ORPHANED AND UNWANTED CHICKENS. I also very clearly remember saying to my mother as we drove around Fresno listening to the news on KYNO am radio in our green Pontiac station wagon in the sweltering summer of 1972: “Wait, what? Arabian GORILLAS kidnapped some athletes in the Olympic Village?!”
Yeah. I was that kid.
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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