The bottom line, kids, is that ALL politicians are bought and paid for to some degree, both Republicans AND Democrats. That is the nature of the beast. If you ain’t bought, paid for, and beholden, you ain’t in office, old sport. It’s as simple as that.
However, allow me to say this: I am a staunch, lifelong Democrat because I would much rather align myself with the party of the ineffectual intellectual elite than the PURELY FUCKING EVIL. Mark my words, Mein Poppets — if elected, this new class of Republicans would have my whining liberal ilk ON THEIR MOTHERFUCKING BLEEDING-HEART KNEES BEGGING FOR THE RETURN OF THAT FECKLESS, DISTRACTED, WAR-PIG, IDIOT-PRINCE GEORGE W. BUSH (& CO.) Knitter, PLEASE. Those crafty bastards just wanted our hard-earned simolians for their counterfeit oil war. These American-Taliban pricks WANT OUR VERY SOULS FOR THEIR RELIGIOUS WAR. That misguided, delusional, frightening Brides of Christ like Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin might even be nominally considered qualified or appropriate for the most powerful office in the world just shows how far-gone we are as a culture.
If there is, indeed, a god — may he help us all.
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About muffybolding
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
muffy bolding 
Dear Ms. Bolding,
I found your blog by following a link from a mutual Facebook friend, and while I disagree with virtually everything you have to say in the post above, keep on doin’ your thing! I love the writing and the passion.
Oh, and by the way, Paul Revere bears a much more uncanny resemblance to Jack Black!
you know what, scottie? all horseshit aside, yours is one of my most favorite comments of all time. someone who disagrees with the actual substance of the vulgarian drivel i spew, and who not only champions my right to say it, but FULLY SUPPORTS ME IN MY ENDEAVOR TO CONTINUE DOING SO. such a rare and amazing thing. THANK YOU, sir — you are an officer and a gentleman and your decency and generosity of spirit does NOT go unnoticed nor unappreciated by the scandalous likes of me. really marvelous. thank you! xoxo
Serious question: Who owns Bernie Sanders? He’s kind of my only hope that there’s…some hope.