the luck of a hooker

Last night I was on the set of Hotel Arthritis — shooting a scene directed by that visionary Boy Wonder of Directors, Jason Lockhart — alongside the DEAD-SEXY DEAD-FUNNY Miss Jacqui Holland, the MINDBOGGLINGLY HILARIOUS Broadway god John Tartaglia, and the unbelievably gorgeous Miss Dawn Wells, who came into all of our childhood living rooms every single afternoon as Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island — and as we all stood there in between shots, belly laughing, getting our lips touched up, and waiting for them to adjust the lights, I had one of those out-of-body moments where you are hovering above yourself, looking down on your life…and I realized that instead of being addicted, incarcerated, on the pole, or dead like so many of my kin…I am here and alive and I just cannot believe my good fortune. Dumb-Lucky ol’ Hooker. That’s me.

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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