a dream

Every once in awhile, we get lucky enough to have one of the greatest moments of our lives captured in a photograph. For me, this is one of those times.

After Jackie Beat announced that she wanted some photos with all the “funny ladies” in the room (GULP), she herded together Roseanne, Nadya Ginsburg, Jenny Pentland, Shawn Pelofsky, and your very own scandalous hag from Fresno. As I tentatively inched my fatass over, Jackie grabbed my shoulder and set me in place. Then, all of the sudden, I felt someone tap me on the arm. It was Roseanne. She said to me (and PLEASE hear this in your head in ROSEANNE’S INIMITABLE VOICE, I beg of you), “Hey, isn’t your name Muffy? I KNOW YOU.”

You see that look on my face? That is the look of a COMPLETE GEEK FAN GIRL.

That is the look of someone exchanging words with one of the actual reasons THAT THEY DO WHAT THEY DO AND THEY ARE WHO THEY ARE.

That is the look of someone WHO JUST HEARD GOD SAY THEIR NAME OUT LOUD.

That is the look of someone who is normally UNFLAPPABLE…LOOKING WAY FLAPPED. WAAAAAY FLAPPED.

I got to meet Roseanne. I can die a happy old hooker now.



Thank you, Jinxie Beat.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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5 Responses to a dream

  1. oh my fucking god! EVERYONE KNOWS MUFFY!!!!!!!!!

  2. Scott Crawford says:


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