It don’t matter. Saggy, shriveled, ancient balls that look exactly like Black Mission figs or not (GOOGLE THEM. I BEG OF YOU) — I would SO totally nail this fucking guy…if for NO other reason than just to be able to tell my grandkids the entire scandalous, sordid tale as a goddamned bedtime story someday. “Yes, My Precious Babies — your Granny BANGED JACK!”

“Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because, deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand at post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.” – Col. Nathan Jessup, “A Few Good Men”