I have been online for almost TWENTY FUCKING YEARS. Trust me, in that time, I have seen and heard it all.
I once had cyber-sex with a guy who had a leg fetish…who told me that what would turn him on the most is me blowing him — whilst I simultaneously bench-pressed a fully-loaded railroad car…so he could watch my thigh and calf muscles strain against the weight.
I have seen pictures of the black smoke billowing up from the wreckage of The Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001 — that supposedly contained the image of the delighted face of Satan…surveying the devastation he doth wrought upon our nation.
I have seen pictures of diseased 19th century Tongan guys with balls the size of your fucking head.
I have seen broads blowing Shetland ponies with a smile on their face. The broads, not the ponies.
But the absolute MOST HILARIOUS thing I have ever seen in my entire life, BAR NONE…is this:
As Maude is my witness, I want this picture rolled up and buried with me in my fucking urn…so I can BELLY LAUGH until the end of time.