Way back in the 80s at Fresno City College — where we spent our days ditching class, smoking cigs, learning lines, and acting cool — my Theatre-Geek friends and I would hold court in the cafeteria, talkin’ shit and making grand teenage pronouncements about who and what “HAD TO GO.” (Yes, I’m looking at YOU, Tally Duke Floyd and Miss Rhonda Jones. Ha!) There we would sit for hours, sipping Diet Coke, smoking cloves, POSING HARD, passing judgement, and proudly making statements like, “Have you seen Patty Smythe in that new ‘Warrior’ video? That fucking tired hair HAS GOT TO GO.”
So, starting today, in honor of that youthful, pretentious, hilarious, ridiculous, and eternally-running list from all those many years ago, I would like to reinstate the tradition as an ongoing feature here on my blog.
Things That HAVE GOT TO GO #1:
When people of A Certain Age (aka, MY ANCIENT FATASS) are asking after an old, long-lost friend from the past who just happens to be gay…that moment when we are inevitably forced to ask that most painful, yet necessary, of questions:
“Did he…make it through?“
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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