Okay, for the very first time in this venue…step right up, pull that strand of rosary beads slowly out of your ass in a real steamy and sultry manner, cross yourself, and confess all to Sister Mary Muffaletta!
You are welcome and encouraged to post whatever it is you need to get off your sweaty-underboob chests. Anything at all!
Tell me your deepest darkest secrets!
Tell me your wickedest fantasies!
Tell me who you love!
Tell me who you hate!
Tell me what you covet!
Tell me who you envy!
Tell me your guilty pleasures!
Tell me who you’d like to see dead, rotting, and stinking in the earth!
Tell me the strangest inanimate object that has ever been in your butt (aside from Grandma Marge’s rosary beads!)
Tell me your dreams, motherfuckers, and I’ll tell you what they mean.
But for the love of god, man, just tell me SOMETHING.
Remember, salvation can be yours, sweet bitches o’ mine.
But first…you must kneel, kiss my sleeve…and CONFESS.
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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