Our fierce, fabulous Baby Goat and her Delta Gamma sorority sister, Wedge, went to the big game yesterday at The Rose Bowl with a bunch of other friends — and they had the MOTHERLOVING TIME OF THEIR LIVES. None of them had any real stake in the game, but had all decided, nonetheless, to root for Florida State…because, after all, who doesn’t love APPROPRIATING THE NAME, CULTURE, MUSIC, and SACRED IMAGERY of an entire tribe of ancient peoples whilst WILDLY CHANTING and TOMAHAWK CHOPPING along with 90,000 other drunk motherfuckers in feathered head-dresses and warpaint?
Uh, you know, like my fatass TOTALLY would have done had I been there. FSU’s hypnotic fucking Seminole war chant IS MY GROOVE.
But, I digress.
Anyway, to BRAVELY get into the GREAT SPIRIT of the game (you see how I did that there?), before all the EPIC TAILGATE RAGERS started, they went into Old Town Pasadena to get t-shirts. They then texted me this photo…and when I saw it, the VERY FIRST thing I thought of was this:
BCS National Championship Game ticket: $200
Parking at The Rose Bowl for The BCS National Championship Game: $50
Copious Amounts of Pabst Blue Ribbon in the can: $40
Commemorative BCS 2014 T-shirt: $20
Standing At The T-shirt Kiosk And Changing Your Team Allegiance Without The Bat Of A Fucking Eye After Realizing That You Look FAR Better In Navy Blue Than You Do In Garnet & Gold: PRICELESS
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
I feel the same way about VT, my daughter’s alma mater and I’m a bit jealous that my own, UGA, never rocked the stadium in quite the same way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TwX3JHjExA