Listening to my favorite, plaintive Charlie Brown Christmas music over the delightful sounds of three savage puppies cavorting on the floor and going through all of my cosmetics. Here they are. ALL OF MY COSMETICS. Oddly enough, it’s actually twice as much as I thought I had — but I was scrabbling through the medicine cabinet earlier in search of Vagisil (DON’T FUCKING ASK) and found this old tube of “Jackie Kennedy Summertime In The Hamptons Smoking A Fucking Salem in Oversized Black Sunglasses And A Wild Lily Pulitzer Shift, 1971, Tangerine Orange” to keep the single tube of my signature “Russian Red” company in its lonely solitude. Like I have said before, I am a COMPLETE failure as a girl, and other than my usual KGB COLDWAR CRIMSON lips, I LOATHE make-up and ONLY ever wear it when I am PAID to wear it. But, that’s okay. The time I save not slathering colored unguents on my sullied mug, I DEVOTE TO THE REVOLUTION!